Traveling with kids is not a vacation...it's traveling with kids. Just recently returned from a 6 day/5 night guys only roadtrip to the beautiful ski country of northern New Mexico. Pretty good, safe trip overall. One cracked rib (not mine thankfully), one puking kid (mine unfortunately), 3 teenage boys intent on "rolling on the babes" (epic failure), a couple of cases of 5-hour energy shots, a few bottles of medicinal schnapps, and a whole lot of sore muscles!
The trip up started uneventfully enough, however, right about the time the taco from breakfast hit the bottom of his gut, I remembered that I hadn't given the 8 year old any dramamine! It is absolutely amazing what comes out of a small childs belly! I'm thinking the taco didn't mix well with the 4 pounds of candy, dozen cookies, cheese crackers, and the ever present beef jerky! Thankfully, a thoughtful Mimi had packed everyone a care package, and the bag turned out to be a lifesafer (at the least a floor-mat saver). Unfortunately, the bag in question wasn't his! After a brief wipedown, disposal of a pair of shorts, a few disgusting comments from afore-mentioned teenagers, a dose of dramamine (yes, I had it in my pocket, just forgot to give it to him) and a rinse out of the mouth, we were back on the road.
Remember back when you were 20 years old, and you could take a 12 hour car trip, only stopping once for gas? Guess what? I'm not 20 anymore! Apparently, my bladder has shrunk to the size of a small walnut over the years. Anytime we came within 5 miles of a working bathroom, I was first out! (followed closely by Captain Dave) I believe the problem was perpetuated by the fact that I have become quite infatuated with a delectable drink the natives refer to as "coffee". (note to self; don't drink 60 ounces of coffee before a 12 hour road trip) (probably not a real good idea to drink 60 ounces of ANYTHING before a 12 hour road trip!)
What I did discover this week was that if you've already paid for the trip, not even a cracked rib can keep you off the skis! Day 2 on skis, Captain Dave takes a spill not unlike the one that used to roll before "The Wide World of Sports" on Saturdays. Unfortunately, Dave is also not 20! It's rumored that the avalanche started right about the time he stopped rolling, but I can't verify it! What I can verify is the fact that he hit with enough force to dent a metal flask, thereby causing an issue with spillage. To mitigate this factor, he felt forced to consume the contents quickly, so as to avoid a pocket full of minty goodness! And with enough minty goodness in your system, anything seems like a good idea! And a whole lot of this trip seemed like a good idea!
I believe the highlight of the trip for me was when the 18 year old in the group got a 40 something "cougars" phone number! Not a bad deal when she invites you and your 2 buddies over for a little hot-tub fun! (interestingly enough, she didn't include the 2 "elders" in this invite? WTH?) Upon showing up at the appointed hour, packing only a swimsuit and a smile, the wee lads were treated to the lovely physique of a 35 year old New Mexico native by the name of Pedro, who tipped the scales at just under a metric ton! Still makes me giggle! Wish I could have seen the looks on their faces! (although from what I understood, Pedro had a certain charm about him, and there was just something about the way the moonlight fell upon his moobs)
I also discovered on this trip (after, actually) that your spousal unit doesn't find the "I hunt Cougars" hat on the 8 year olds head nearly as entertaining as you did! Classic!
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