REALITY

Remember the good old days? Back when men were men, women were barefoot & pregnant in the kitchen, kids said stuff like golly-gee and your dogs never peed on your carpet? Ya, me neither. But I do remember when there was something on the television rather than reality shows! Remember the magic of sit-coms? Or how about a game show or 2? Has everyone in Hollywood just lost all semblance of creativity?

I'm not a huge fan of the whole reality genre, but there are a couple of obvious exceptions. Survivor is my personal favorite. Now I know that some people may think it's ridiculous and make fun of me for watching it. I don't care. If you don't want to watch it, thats your prerogative.(you're insanely stupid and possibly a bed-wetter, but it's your prerogative) I like watching how the people get so desperate and attack each other. It really is gang mentality at it's finest.

The other one I think is absolutely awesome, and I just got turned on to thanks to my buddy Redfish, is Swamp People. Now that's a show! I'm guessing the producers of this show love it too, cuz they only have to pay the people in Milwaukee's Best beer and Corn-nuts. In case, (by some crazy little twist in your life called "a life"), you might have missed it, this show is about a group of highly motivated, type A personality, buttoned-up suit and tie types that get thrown in a swamp to survive. (Okay, just kidding about that part, but that would be cool, huh?) This is about a bunch of Cajuns that crawled out from under the rock when it got turned over. And they hunt alligators. And some of em have teeth. And speak legibly.(barely) As my 17 year old said, "Dad, I might enjoy this show more if I had even 1 clue what they're saying."

I'm not sure if you could actually find a 30 minute time slot anywhere on the 500 channels that didn't have at least one reality show. You've got houseflippers, garden builders, wife swappers, and pawn shops. Car fixers, motorbike builders, real wives and boot camp. There's shows about decorating cup-cakes! Shooting contests. Bachelors and Bachelorette's. Fat singles & fat couples. Plastic surgery. Housepests. You name it, it's on.

I want a reality show. I'm open to suggestions. I do have a few things I don't wanna have to do though. I don't wanna eat bugs. Don't wanna have to actually go hungry. Or thirsty. Don't wanna have to build a fire to survive. Don't wanna have to solve puzzles, or really do anything too strenuous. I'm thinking it shouldn't be a contest of any kind. More of a "what a thrill it is to be me" kind of show. Like I said, I'm open to suggestions. If you come up with something great, let me know!