The Clothes Make the Person

Is it proper to wear a wife-beater if you have no intention of beating your wife? Should you wear one if you do have intention of beating your kids? Or your dogs? Or your kids dogs? Is it still considered a wife-beater if it's a different color? Say yellow. (or is this an Asian wife-beater?) What if you beat your wife, but you happen to be wearing a Vikings jersey? Would the judge let you off easy because obviously, you're not a professional at this? Is there a corresponding "wife argue-er shirt"? (maybe it's the Hooters shirt hanging in the back of the closet)

I've seen a lot of guys wearing the really cool fishing shirts. Most of them are not fishing. (I doubt some of them even know how to fish, which is a different blog altogether) If you go fishing wearing aa '99 Spurs Championship t-shirt, what are the chances of actually catching a fish? Do the fish know what you're wearing? ("Let's not bite that one Norwood, that guy's wearing a wife-beater") Should there be some kind of law whereas you can't wear a fishing shirt without at the very least, having a tackle box in your truck?

And what's up with the "Carpenter" jeans? Just cuz they've got a special little loop where you could put a hammer doesn't mean that carpenters wear them. I've known a lot of carpenters in my day, and I've NEVER seen one wearing carpenter jeans. (they're probably actually painters dressed up like carpenters) Maybe I should get a pair and see if it helps me cut a straighter line?

And while we're on the subject, (kinda) if you're not a cowboy, but you're wearing cowboy boots, what does that make you? (a calf-boy?) What would happen if you were to actually jump on a horse wearing ballet shoes? Would the horse start to dance? And why aren't they called horse-boys?

Same goes for wearing a Hawaiin shirt in Texas! Does it mean you wish you were in Hawaii? (duh!) And why don't we have Texan shirts? Or Oklahoman shirts (that just sounded wrong), or Louisianan shirts (aren't those the wife-beaters?). Do the people in Hawaii have to wear them? I mean is it a rule or something? (probably just a "guideline")

Same question for wearing "scrubs". (not the show)(where they actually wear scrubs)(funny show actually) If you aren't a doctor or a nurse, can you wear them? What happens if you're a hair-dresser, and you're wearing scrubs and witness a car accident? Wouldn't you have to respond? (911, 911 it's an emergency! This girl has serious split ends!!!) (seriously, watch the show. It's funny) Or what if you were wearing a fishing shirt and scrub pants? Would you have to do CPR on the fish when you caught em?

And my personal favorite, Camo anything. Why do people wear camo clothes when they go to the store? Are they trying to steal stuff? If that were the case they should try the "canned goods" camo instead of the "mossy oak"! I'm not sure if they realize it, but people can still see them!

Wow, my head hurts.