Who let me drink this early in the day?

Funny thing happened on the way to work today.  I filled up with gas.  What makes it funny was I only had to sell 8 bags of weed & a bottle of 22 Oxy-contin's to come up with the cash for the gas.  It seems really funny that the $85 of gas that I put in today might, and I say might, last til the weekend.  Even funnier is how the big 5 oil companies managed to squeek out profits of around $36billion in the first quarter.  Now I know that $36billion doesn't seem all that big to some of you out there, but that's a crapload of money to me.  I could afford to buy a matching set of Spongebob pajamas and bedsheets with that.  Maybe even have a little left over to go to happy hour at Sonic.

Is it just me or does it seem like gas went from about a buck a gallon a few years ago, to just under the spot where you have to sell plasma to afford it currently?  What it has done is make me aware of some of my habits.  Just yesterday, I actually walked down my driveway to my mailbox instead of driving!  And I've stopped mowing my yard.  Not gonna blow the 38 cents it takes to fill up the mower. 

What this has really helped me to discover is that not only with gasoline, but with all natural resources, we should concentrate on conserving.  Like water.  Don't waste it.  If you feel like you must drink it, drink it with scotch.  Or in beer.  Don't use it to brush your teeth either.  Use milk.  That way you can get your teeth clean & get your daily recommended dose of dairy at the same time.  Which brings up another natural resource we should be intent on conserving.  Time.  Don't just stand around wasting time.  I've found it's much more relaxing to maybe lie on the couch in a pair of ratty gym shorts with your hand in the waist-band, than just standing around.  Or play a few video games. 

The fact is, like with most things, all of our natural resources are dwindling.  And Lord knows we don't need any more dwindling around here.  As a side note, dwindling is an unusual word.  Looks like maybe a conjunction of Dwarf and Whittling.  But that's just plain mean.  Why would anybody want to whittle a dwarf?  Or dwarf a whittle for that matter.  Maybe its Dwarf and Kindling.  Like little bitty pieces of little pieces of wood.  But I digress.  Our natural resources are dwindling running out.  It's time we got serious about this conservation thing. 

So start today.  Don't mow your yard.  Put foil in your windows so your house isn't so hot.  Use real wood for your barbeque instead of charcoal.  Instead of throwing those old tires in a landfill, burn them in your backyard.  Lay on your fat butt on tthe couch and only watch 1 channel on tv instead of 3.  Don't brush your teeth.  Don't take a shower.  And the biggest of all, let's get rid of all the politicians so we aren't wasting air!