I'm not really a very superstitious person. When I had someone tell me this morning that it was Friday the 13th, I just kind of laughed. Then, when I walked into a lady's house to look at some issues, I see she has a dead cat stuffed & laying on the coffee table. We've all seen the cute little stuffed animals that are made to look like a real cat or dog. So real looking they can almost fool you. Key word here is almost. This was an actual cat. Like in, "here kitty, kitty". Lady had taken Fluffy down to Big-Earl the Taxidermist and had her stuffed. That's just weird. Guess it cuts down the cost of cat food & litter. And you never have to worry about those annoying hair-balls under your bed.
Years ago, I took part in a "Christmas in April" event, where a bunch of local contractors donate 1 Saturday, and you fix up some needy persons house. We re-did the kitchen of this little old lady's house. When we pulled out the cabinets, there was a mummified cat under them. All the hair still attached. Pretty skinny too. We took it out & stood it next to a tree just in case the old lady had been missing it. Now don't you think it was stinking at some point? She probably just kept thinking "darn that cat dragging mouses in here". At least this one was (apparently) on accident. WHO STUFFS THEIR DAMN CAT? (Yes, Nigel, I bagged this one after a 9 day stalk through the thickets of the parking garage)
So after the whole cat incident, I go out to this barn to retrieve a couple of things. I walk to the back corner, pick up a piece of foam, and right there, staring back at me is a snake! What kind of snake, you ask? I DON'T CARE!!! It's a snake. It went slithering back into a box, and I went slithering the other way (actually, prancing and screaming like a little girl) as fast as I could. I don't like snakes. Actually, it's not that I don't like them, it's that they scare the living crap out of me! Anything that moves like that with no legs just ain't no good! Look what happened to Adam!
So I realize that I can't just leave this snake in the box there for some other unsuspecting snake hater to find. I knew I had to put on my big-boy panties and deal with it. (plus, my other ones had just been soiled) So I find a 4" wide, 4' long floor scraper standing nearby, as well as a hockey stick (don't ask). As I'm moving stuff around in the box, trying to get a good look at it to see what kind it was, it hisses at me! It hisses at me! Now I don't know about you, but when a snake hisses at me, I'm taking that as a sign that it's time for said snake to die!
So after a few minutes of moving stuff around and listening to this snake get madder & madder, I struck! And missed! As I look back on it, I should have set up a video camera. I'm pretty sure that a 5' snake is more flexible and has quicker reflexes than me, but baby, I was back in my prime!(not that I was really all that prime in my prime) Could of won state in high hurdles the way I was moving! Over the lawn mower, around the couch, 30 yeard sprint outside to safety! Bruce Jenner would of been proud!
After the snake had calmed down, and my heartrate had dropped below 200, I was back on station for another wack at it! A few minutes of more snake dancing, and I was ready! With lightening like speed and lazer focus, I struck, this time killing the rascal! As I reach my hand down into the box to grab it (hahahahaha), I mean try to get it wrapped around the hockey stick, I realize that it could possibly be the worst kind of snake we have around here. The dreaded Coral-Headed Copper-Back Water Rattler! The meanest snake you ever want to see!
Some folks call them "Rat Snakes", but they just don't know...
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