OMG, OMG, OMG!!! I just got incredible news! A Mr. Yam Tang just contacted me via e-mail and offered me a once in a lifetime opportunity!(holy crap, i'm so excited!) My hands are shaking as I type this, but he offered me the opportunity to be a corporate representative for him! All I've got to do is receive funds from various customers into my bank account or credit card account, and dispurse the funds to his company through wire transfer! And the best part is, all I have to do is give them my banking information and they do all the work! OMG, OMG, OMG!
I don't need any formal training either! Wow! All I really need to do is learn to speak English with some type of Cambodian or Taiwanese accent. (based on the typing in the email) And can I start immediately? Well heck yes! An opportunity like this only comes along once or twice a week!
Could be my ticket to the big leagues! This, combined with my share of the $94million from the nice Nigerian man who needed my help because he couldn't get his money released into this Country without a representative here, and I'll be set! What's the first thing I'll buy? Where will I go? Man the decisions I'll have to make!
First off, obviously, is a hovercraft. Duh. I've seen them advertised in the magazines where they'll go 50 mph over land or water! Got to have one of those! Then there'll be the flying car! Think about it, driving along & you come to a traffic jam? You just fly over it! How cool is that gonna be? I'm joining the bacon of the month club, fruit of the month club, and wine of the month club, just cuz I can! Remember the clapper?(not to be confused with the highly popular "crapper") You know, the thing that lets you turn off lamps just by clapping your hands. I'm ordering myself a case! And a Chia pet! And a Topsy Turvy tomato growing thingy! And a Snuggie! And a bunch of those Breathe Right strips that go on your nose!(I think they look cool) And what the hell, I'm getting one of those wind-up monkeys with the cymbals! And a ceramic banana bank, just like I had when I was 7, but broke it when I knocked it off my dresser!
I used to only get offers like these every once in a while. But lately, I've gotten a ton! And I always scoffed at them. But no more! I mean, they must be legit, right? Or else they couldn't do it. I once knew a guy, who went to college with a guy, who's ex-sister in law's uncle was next door neighbors with this lady who bought produce from this man that had a friend who's cousin(2nd, not 1st) signed up to help one of these Nigerian people get their money here and is now worth well over $46billion! He's practically my brother! So take that you nay-sayers!
Okay, now I've got to be on the level with all of you. I'm really not going to do any of these things. I know, I know, it's silly of me to turn my back on millions of dollars, but I'm going to! You see, I'm what I like to refer to as a "Realist"(as in, "I'm REALLY sure you're gonna lose everything if you do this"). I've learned by now, that nothing free is easy, & nothing easy is free. You're never going to get rich by giving somebody access to your banking information. You're probably never going to win the lottery either.
You may never get rich by working hard and working smart. But what you will get is a deep sense of satisfaction, thrown in with a healthy dose of self-pride and confidence. Add to it the fact that you just may learn a trade, learn to make good decisions, and learn what it feels like to be a productive citizen. And who knows, there's always that 1 in 176,487,945 chance you'll win that lotto after all!
No comments:
Post a Comment