Why is that people have to take classes and a test to get a drivers license, but all they gotta do is be willing to spread-em to have a baby?  I mean seriously, come up with some kind of performance standards before people can qualify to be parents!

And another thing, "one size fits all" doesn't mean you, lard ass.  Did they not put mirrors in your house?  Close the pie-hole!  You're scaring the little kids.  And I'm talking about the guy on the exercise bike in front of me this morning.  You know the type.  Wearing the cute little bike shorts, and squeezing his 340 pounds into one of the really cool, colorful bike shirts.  Comes in & takes all the crap out of his big "workout" bag, including:  weight belt, water bottle, rolls of ankle/wrist wrap, towel and gloves.  Spreads the afore-mentioned items all around his bike, puts ON the gloves(? wth, really?!?!?) and proceeds to "swallow" the bike seat with his rather large posterior.  Once he has successfully mounted up, he then proceeds at the blistering pace of between 30 and 40 rpm's, for exactly 5 minutes,18 seconds.(yes I was looking).  Then I went and shaved my tongue.