So some jerk-wad killed his girlfriend and then offed himself with a gun. Now they (whoever "they" are) are pushing even harder for gun bans. Good grief people! Get a grip!
Bob Costas comes on TV and says "if he didn't have a gun, they would both be alive today". Does he really believe that? If someone is predisposed to commit murder, it really doesn't matter if he has a gun or not! If he didn't have a gun, it would have been a fork in the neck, or a cleaver on the ol' noodle, or a bat to the back of the head, or an ice-pick through the temple! Now I'll give you the fact that it might have been a little more difficult and painful to kill himself, but do we really care?
Give it a rest people! The gun didn't jump up in his hand and discharge itself! There are bad people in this world. Sometimes they do bad things. There are even good people in this world that sometimes do bad things.(usually doesn't involve murder, but bad things none-the-less!) Face reality! If someone wants to kill somebody, they don't have to have a gun.
Remember the dentist in Houston that ran over her husband in the parking lot something like eleventy-nine times? Something tells me she really wanted that sum-buck dead! SHE USED HER CAR AS A MURDER WEAPON! I'm immediately calling for a ban on late model high-end luxury cars! If we can get these dangerous weapons out of the hands of irate wives, we can save lives!
How about the guy that burned his family in the trailer a few years back? NO MORE MATCHES! NO MORE MATCHES! NO MORE MATCHES!
There was the mom who rolled her car with the kids in it into the lake. Do we ban large bodies of water?
There was the Mom & Dad who killed their daughter because they thought she disgraced the family by looking at a boy. How did they kill her you ask? They poured acid all over her! Acid!
How about ropes? They've been used in more than one hanging. Knives? Probably account for just as many deaths (at least on the South Side) as guns do, but nobody's screaming for a ban on them. Bows and Arrows? Bunch of homesteaders back around 150 years ago wish there had been a ban on them!
How about if I pick up the handset on my desk phone and beat somebody to death with it?(not that I've actually thought about doing it!)(actually, I HAVE thought about doing it)(numerous times)(today) Beside the fact that I wouldn't be able to make a land-line call, would it be considered a murder weapon that should have a ban on it?
I guess if we follow this logic through to the end, we should really be creating a bunch of jails for guns! Why are we throwing innocent people in jail, when it was the guns fault?
It's like the old bumper sticker says..."If guns kill people, then spoons make people fat"! Damn spoons!
Monday, December 3, 2012
Friday, November 16, 2012
I just listened to a recording of a lady on the radio calling in to complain about the location of "deer crossing" signs. This is something that has always perplexed me as well. Why put the deer in such danger? Why would you ask them to cross IH-10 where the speed limit is 70? Just doesn't seem like a smart move to me. Put the signs on side roads somewhere where the speed limit is 35. If I was a deer I'd tell you to kiss my butt. I'm not gonna cross IH-10. What happens if they don't do it? Do they go to deer jail?
And another one that bugs me is every time I pull into my neighborhood, there is a sign that says "slow gate". Put a faster damn motor on it. I think I'm smart enough to hit the breaks and wait for the gate to open without being told that it's slow. How stupid do they think we are?
And how damn hungry were the original settlers in this Country? How come they had to name all the hilly passes the same name? I can't tell you how many "do-nut pass" signs I've seen on the road! And they don't even spell it right!
Another one that gets my goat is when you go into the restroom at Lowe's, there is a big sign that says "employees must wash hands". That's it. Doesn't say after you pee. Doesn't say before returning to work. Just wash your hands people. (when you're working in a big warehouse store, is that such a big deal anyway?)(I can see it when you're making me my steak burrito or something, but loading sheetrock?)
I saw one the other day while driving past a car wash. It said "free senior citizen wash today only". Seems like there are other ways to get Granny to wash her pits. I think this would be a little humiliating also. "All you old folks strip down and stand over there while Buford pulls out the firehose".
But out of all of the signs that I've seen, the one that I think is the cruelest, most inhumane out there is the one that says "slow children crossing". Don't we live in a society that shouldn't be putting people down? Especially childrens? These poor kids who have to cross there are just trying to fit in. They don't need it announced to the world that they're "slow"!
And another one that bugs me is every time I pull into my neighborhood, there is a sign that says "slow gate". Put a faster damn motor on it. I think I'm smart enough to hit the breaks and wait for the gate to open without being told that it's slow. How stupid do they think we are?
And how damn hungry were the original settlers in this Country? How come they had to name all the hilly passes the same name? I can't tell you how many "do-nut pass" signs I've seen on the road! And they don't even spell it right!
Another one that gets my goat is when you go into the restroom at Lowe's, there is a big sign that says "employees must wash hands". That's it. Doesn't say after you pee. Doesn't say before returning to work. Just wash your hands people. (when you're working in a big warehouse store, is that such a big deal anyway?)(I can see it when you're making me my steak burrito or something, but loading sheetrock?)
I saw one the other day while driving past a car wash. It said "free senior citizen wash today only". Seems like there are other ways to get Granny to wash her pits. I think this would be a little humiliating also. "All you old folks strip down and stand over there while Buford pulls out the firehose".
But out of all of the signs that I've seen, the one that I think is the cruelest, most inhumane out there is the one that says "slow children crossing". Don't we live in a society that shouldn't be putting people down? Especially childrens? These poor kids who have to cross there are just trying to fit in. They don't need it announced to the world that they're "slow"!
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
What we need
Well, here is sit the night after "the most important election in since the last most important election in our Countries history". Things didn't exactly go as I had hoped. Didn't go exactly as about 50 million other people had hoped either. I don't understand. I mean I REALLY don't understand.
How can a guy get re-elected when, according to polls, 60% of the people in this country didn't approve of the way he was handling the economy? How can a guy get re-elected when the average family is making approximately $5,000 less per year than they were 4 years ago? How can a guy get re-elected when the nations unemployment rate has remained higher for longer than at any time in American history?
I think I have a pretty good idea. (admit it, you knew it was coming) The problem with the Republican party is that the vast majority of voters in this Country can't identify with the folks that they keep putitng out there as their candidate. How many of us can truly identify with a guy that's worth somewhere around eleventy billion dollars, who came from a family that was worth around eleventy billion dollars? I'm pretty sure he never had to dig through the ashtray in his car for gas mone!
And it wasn't just the current candidate. The previous candidate, although a war hero with an impeccable record, wasn't easily identifiable with either.
There needs to be a litmus test of sorts when it comes to candidates. How about a simple "would I have a beer with this guy"?
What the republican party needs to do is find their own rock-star. Find a young guy with enough balls to say what's on his mind. Who isn't afraid to ruffle feathers. Who looks out for the best interests of the Country, even though they might not be the best interests of himself, or his party. Find somebody that everybody can look at & say, wow, I believe in him. Somebody who doesn't back down from his convictions just because his "handlers" are afraid he'll actually speak his mind and piss people off.
Somebody who has a clear picture of where he stands on the issues. Who has a plan for the Country. People want to see and hear about an iron-clad plan for the economy, and for foreign affairs. And they want them explained to them in a way they can understand. Don't come up with some bs line about "we have a plan, a very detailed plan that I can't explain at this moment"! Beyond that, don't get bogged down. There are always going to be issues that pop up that somebody wants your position on. I think it's ok to say "I don't know, but I'll go back and talk to the brightest minds in that field and get back to you".
Oh, who'm I kidding? People want somebody who looks good, smells good and lies to them out of both sides of their mouth. Have I mentioned before that people are stupid?
How can a guy get re-elected when, according to polls, 60% of the people in this country didn't approve of the way he was handling the economy? How can a guy get re-elected when the average family is making approximately $5,000 less per year than they were 4 years ago? How can a guy get re-elected when the nations unemployment rate has remained higher for longer than at any time in American history?
I think I have a pretty good idea. (admit it, you knew it was coming) The problem with the Republican party is that the vast majority of voters in this Country can't identify with the folks that they keep putitng out there as their candidate. How many of us can truly identify with a guy that's worth somewhere around eleventy billion dollars, who came from a family that was worth around eleventy billion dollars? I'm pretty sure he never had to dig through the ashtray in his car for gas mone!
And it wasn't just the current candidate. The previous candidate, although a war hero with an impeccable record, wasn't easily identifiable with either.
There needs to be a litmus test of sorts when it comes to candidates. How about a simple "would I have a beer with this guy"?
What the republican party needs to do is find their own rock-star. Find a young guy with enough balls to say what's on his mind. Who isn't afraid to ruffle feathers. Who looks out for the best interests of the Country, even though they might not be the best interests of himself, or his party. Find somebody that everybody can look at & say, wow, I believe in him. Somebody who doesn't back down from his convictions just because his "handlers" are afraid he'll actually speak his mind and piss people off.
Somebody who has a clear picture of where he stands on the issues. Who has a plan for the Country. People want to see and hear about an iron-clad plan for the economy, and for foreign affairs. And they want them explained to them in a way they can understand. Don't come up with some bs line about "we have a plan, a very detailed plan that I can't explain at this moment"! Beyond that, don't get bogged down. There are always going to be issues that pop up that somebody wants your position on. I think it's ok to say "I don't know, but I'll go back and talk to the brightest minds in that field and get back to you".
Oh, who'm I kidding? People want somebody who looks good, smells good and lies to them out of both sides of their mouth. Have I mentioned before that people are stupid?
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Aother reason to hate unions!
For all of you readers out there that happen to belong to a union, you might want to tune out for a while. I heard a couple of days ago about a group of electrical workers fom the wonderful state of Alabama who went north to the not-so-wonderful state of New Joisey. Seems said group went north to help a bunch of people try to get some power back on in their casa's after what we like to refer to around here as "a nice little fall shower". Apparantly it's cold as Hell (why do people say cold as Hell? Isn't Hell supposed to be really fiery and hot?) up there and getting colder by the minute. The good old boys from Alabamy thought, shoot, we can go up there and be right neighborly and help these poor folks out!
Just when they thought they were in a spot to do a bit of good in the world, they were turned away at the New Jersey border because THEY WEREN'T UNION WORKERS!!! Everybody catch that? The help they were bringing wasn't nearly as important to the imbeciles in New Jersey as was the fact that they werent card-carrying members of the electical workers union!
There is something seriously wrong in this Country when you put the best-interests of a few above the best-interests of millions! How pathetic is it that people are freezing, have no food, have no running water, yet when help is on the way, some jerk-wad turns it away. See, if it was me, I wouldn't care if they were mass murderers. If they were there, willing and able to help, I would have put their happy little butts to scampering up poles!
I hope whoever made this truly idiotic decision gets the living crap beat out of him(or her) by some little old woman who wants nothing more than to warm up a can of tomato soup. Then, when he gets to his feet, I hope there's some little boy with frostbitten toes that comes by and pees on the guys shoes! What a nimrod!
On a lighter note, I wonder if there's a chance that I can catch an election ad on TV tonight? I will be so damn glad when this whole election crap is over! I have a pretty strong feeling that no matter who wins, there is gonna be bitterness and partisanship in this Country, and specifically in the goverment, the likes of which we've never seen. My prediction, and I hope that I'm wrong, is that it's going to be incredibly hard for whoever is elected to really make a difference in the next four years.
There will be so much hatred and bias throughout every level of government, and so little cooperaton between parties that the country will come to an even greater standstill. I hope, for all of our sakes that I'm wrong about this. Whoever wins will be the President of the United States, and will need the cooperation of every one of us. It's time for all of us to come together and put aside whatever differences we may have. Put aside the anger. Put aside the hurt feelings. Put aside the color. Put aside whatever it is within each of us that makes us work against each other instead of with each other. It's time to put this Country back on top.
God Bless the United States of America.
And if you don't agree, kiss my ass. And leave.
Just when they thought they were in a spot to do a bit of good in the world, they were turned away at the New Jersey border because THEY WEREN'T UNION WORKERS!!! Everybody catch that? The help they were bringing wasn't nearly as important to the imbeciles in New Jersey as was the fact that they werent card-carrying members of the electical workers union!
There is something seriously wrong in this Country when you put the best-interests of a few above the best-interests of millions! How pathetic is it that people are freezing, have no food, have no running water, yet when help is on the way, some jerk-wad turns it away. See, if it was me, I wouldn't care if they were mass murderers. If they were there, willing and able to help, I would have put their happy little butts to scampering up poles!
I hope whoever made this truly idiotic decision gets the living crap beat out of him(or her) by some little old woman who wants nothing more than to warm up a can of tomato soup. Then, when he gets to his feet, I hope there's some little boy with frostbitten toes that comes by and pees on the guys shoes! What a nimrod!
On a lighter note, I wonder if there's a chance that I can catch an election ad on TV tonight? I will be so damn glad when this whole election crap is over! I have a pretty strong feeling that no matter who wins, there is gonna be bitterness and partisanship in this Country, and specifically in the goverment, the likes of which we've never seen. My prediction, and I hope that I'm wrong, is that it's going to be incredibly hard for whoever is elected to really make a difference in the next four years.
There will be so much hatred and bias throughout every level of government, and so little cooperaton between parties that the country will come to an even greater standstill. I hope, for all of our sakes that I'm wrong about this. Whoever wins will be the President of the United States, and will need the cooperation of every one of us. It's time for all of us to come together and put aside whatever differences we may have. Put aside the anger. Put aside the hurt feelings. Put aside the color. Put aside whatever it is within each of us that makes us work against each other instead of with each other. It's time to put this Country back on top.
God Bless the United States of America.
And if you don't agree, kiss my ass. And leave.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
How black is enough?
Heard today that the ACLU, or LULAC, or NAACP or some other such group was filing suit against the Minnesota frickin Timberwolves because their roster was too white. Yes, you read that right. Somebody is suing the NBA because there are too many white guys on a team. Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit!
What in the Hell is wrong with this World? NEWSFLASH!!! About 85% of the players in the NBA are black. So, don't you think that the racial thing has pretty much run it's course in the NBA? I mean, can I sue if there are 5 black players on 1 team on the court at the same time?
Pretty sure that this is the way the NBA works:(I may be wrong, but I doubt it) You put the best team you possibly can on the court. You win the most games you can. You go to the playoffs. You win the title. Everybody gets big, fat, stinkin bonus checks. Everybody smiles!
Doesn't matter if the team is white, black, green, yellow, red, or something in between. If you've got the best team, you win.
So why would the Timberwolves purposely put an all-white team on the floor? My guess is that they just don't think the "colored's" deserve a shot! Or that they think the black folk will get out of hand with the power!
Give me a damn break! There isn't an owner in the NBA who doesn't want to win a title. And win it now. It's probably worth somewhere north of eleventy bajillion dollars in marketing and jersey and cap sales. But no. Let's put all the white guys on the floor at once so we got no shot! After all, White Men Can't Jump!(I used to be able to jump, just not very high)(Now I've got no cartilage in my knees and it hurts when i jump)
It's time we get over the racial thing America. I know that black people had it bad! Truth is that a lot of white people had it just as bad. Maybe not in America(although there are a lot that did), but throughout history. What's that guys name in the Bible? Oh Yeah. Moses. Apparently he was a slave. Apparently he had it bad. Apparently, he went on to lead a whole bunch of people out of slavery and into a better life.
Truth is, by pulling this crap with the whole racial thing, the only thing you're doing is creating greater racial divides in the country. It's okay if you're black, red, yellow, white or neon. In the words of Rodney King, "Why can't we all just get along!!! I know a couple of Hispanics. I know one black guy. Believe it or not, I even know a couple of asians. We all get along. Weird huh!?!
Wake up people. The folks in these damn racist groups like LULAC and NAACP earn a living by creating hatred. Period. If one group doesn't hate some other group, then the powers that be in these groups got no big paycheck.(and they all want that big paycheck) So to make sure the paychecks keep coming, they create hate. They create panic. They create devisive feelings in this country. If we are still feeling the pain of the past century, and trying to get over said feelings, doesn't creating hate and ill-will go directly against any recovery we could possibly have?
So here's what I'm gonna do...I'm gonna buy me an NBA team, and I'm gonna field nothing but Hispanic Koreans who are all under 5'-4" tall. And we're gonna suck, but at least I'll have my quota!
What in the Hell is wrong with this World? NEWSFLASH!!! About 85% of the players in the NBA are black. So, don't you think that the racial thing has pretty much run it's course in the NBA? I mean, can I sue if there are 5 black players on 1 team on the court at the same time?
Pretty sure that this is the way the NBA works:(I may be wrong, but I doubt it) You put the best team you possibly can on the court. You win the most games you can. You go to the playoffs. You win the title. Everybody gets big, fat, stinkin bonus checks. Everybody smiles!
Doesn't matter if the team is white, black, green, yellow, red, or something in between. If you've got the best team, you win.
So why would the Timberwolves purposely put an all-white team on the floor? My guess is that they just don't think the "colored's" deserve a shot! Or that they think the black folk will get out of hand with the power!
Give me a damn break! There isn't an owner in the NBA who doesn't want to win a title. And win it now. It's probably worth somewhere north of eleventy bajillion dollars in marketing and jersey and cap sales. But no. Let's put all the white guys on the floor at once so we got no shot! After all, White Men Can't Jump!(I used to be able to jump, just not very high)(Now I've got no cartilage in my knees and it hurts when i jump)
It's time we get over the racial thing America. I know that black people had it bad! Truth is that a lot of white people had it just as bad. Maybe not in America(although there are a lot that did), but throughout history. What's that guys name in the Bible? Oh Yeah. Moses. Apparently he was a slave. Apparently he had it bad. Apparently, he went on to lead a whole bunch of people out of slavery and into a better life.
Truth is, by pulling this crap with the whole racial thing, the only thing you're doing is creating greater racial divides in the country. It's okay if you're black, red, yellow, white or neon. In the words of Rodney King, "Why can't we all just get along!!! I know a couple of Hispanics. I know one black guy. Believe it or not, I even know a couple of asians. We all get along. Weird huh!?!
Wake up people. The folks in these damn racist groups like LULAC and NAACP earn a living by creating hatred. Period. If one group doesn't hate some other group, then the powers that be in these groups got no big paycheck.(and they all want that big paycheck) So to make sure the paychecks keep coming, they create hate. They create panic. They create devisive feelings in this country. If we are still feeling the pain of the past century, and trying to get over said feelings, doesn't creating hate and ill-will go directly against any recovery we could possibly have?
So here's what I'm gonna do...I'm gonna buy me an NBA team, and I'm gonna field nothing but Hispanic Koreans who are all under 5'-4" tall. And we're gonna suck, but at least I'll have my quota!
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Alternative cleanliness
Okay, something I just have to share.
A couple of weeks ago, I hired a new cleaning crew for my jobsites. I know, nothing ground breaking about this. I've hired plenty of cleaning crews in the past, and I've never felt obligated to tell the world about it. Let me explain.
The crew shows up to clean the first house for me, all of them with eager eyes, calloused hands, and 8 words of English between them. Actually, turned out that one of them did speak a little English. She was the spokesperson apparently. After a few non-threatening questions about the job at hand, I noticed she was in bad need of a quick little shave of the lip. No big deal, I've known lots of women who could use a shave.
I went about my bidness, and after a while, here comes the spokesperson in need of a shave with a few more questions for me. This time as I'm talking to her, I notice that under all that makeup, she had a really broad chin. And she carried herself rather peculiarly. (ha, I just used peculiarly in casual conversation)(not really conversation actually, but still...) And she REALLY needed a shave.
Then it hit me...this chick is ugly. After she left, I used a few of the 13 words in Spanish that I know to try to make some sort of sense of the alternate Universe that I found myself currently inhabiting. It was then that I found out her name was "Paulina".(with emphasis on Paul)
That's right folks! I have been somewhat involved in the construction industry since I was 12 years old, and I experienced something new! Never, ever, ever have I seen a tranny on a jobsite, and now I have one!(that's transvestite for all you peeps past 50 out there) That's right. I have a cross-dresser on my cleaning crew!(she/he does have great taste in ballerina slippers tho)
The issue becomes, how do I address her(him)? Um doesn't seem to be appropriate. "Hey you"? "Hello cleaner person of undecided gender" seems a bit long. How about if I just pretend I don't speak English? Or Spanish?(that ones easy)
All these years, and just when I thought I had it all figured out, life throws me a whole new curve ball! Whatcha gonna do?
A couple of weeks ago, I hired a new cleaning crew for my jobsites. I know, nothing ground breaking about this. I've hired plenty of cleaning crews in the past, and I've never felt obligated to tell the world about it. Let me explain.
The crew shows up to clean the first house for me, all of them with eager eyes, calloused hands, and 8 words of English between them. Actually, turned out that one of them did speak a little English. She was the spokesperson apparently. After a few non-threatening questions about the job at hand, I noticed she was in bad need of a quick little shave of the lip. No big deal, I've known lots of women who could use a shave.
I went about my bidness, and after a while, here comes the spokesperson in need of a shave with a few more questions for me. This time as I'm talking to her, I notice that under all that makeup, she had a really broad chin. And she carried herself rather peculiarly. (ha, I just used peculiarly in casual conversation)(not really conversation actually, but still...) And she REALLY needed a shave.
Then it hit me...this chick is ugly. After she left, I used a few of the 13 words in Spanish that I know to try to make some sort of sense of the alternate Universe that I found myself currently inhabiting. It was then that I found out her name was "Paulina".(with emphasis on Paul)
That's right folks! I have been somewhat involved in the construction industry since I was 12 years old, and I experienced something new! Never, ever, ever have I seen a tranny on a jobsite, and now I have one!(that's transvestite for all you peeps past 50 out there) That's right. I have a cross-dresser on my cleaning crew!(she/he does have great taste in ballerina slippers tho)
The issue becomes, how do I address her(him)? Um doesn't seem to be appropriate. "Hey you"? "Hello cleaner person of undecided gender" seems a bit long. How about if I just pretend I don't speak English? Or Spanish?(that ones easy)
All these years, and just when I thought I had it all figured out, life throws me a whole new curve ball! Whatcha gonna do?
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
numb-nuts and other's
You know what I love? Do you? Do you? I love when people call me on the phone and get 7 different levels of righteous on my ass over something. Cuss me. Call me a dumb-ass. Tell me I better figure out what the hell is going on or there's gonna be problems.
I love these people.
These people are what I call...small weenied, narrow minded, numb-nut bastiches! People that, generally speaking, are built somewhere along the lines of the chess club champion from junior high. You know the kind. The guys who think that, through some majik of the telephone, they've grown 8 inches, gained 40 pounds, can now bench press 400 pounds, and look identical to some jerk-wad named Bradd Pitt.
And when they call, they know IT ALL!!! They've done more. They've accomplished feats that were only minutes before figments of Dr. Seuss' imagination. And unfortunately, they know that you're a dumb-ass.(they usually tell you)
You know what I like about these butt munchers? I like driving over to wherever they are and meeting them in person! I like the look in their eye when I actually get out of my truck to talk to them. See, I decided a long time ago that I don't like to be threatened over the phone. Pisses me off actually. If you're gonna threaten me, do it to my face. Don't hide behind a phone, or a computer. That just makes you a wuss!(and me mad)
I mean, I'm not exactly built like Michael Clarke Duncan (God rest his soul), but I'm not exactly Michael J. Fox either. What I have decided is that it doesn't really matter. It has nothing to do with your body size, muscles, hair, freckles, fingernails, or skin color. You're not gonna bully me.
If you want to call me up and have a nice civilized conversation about something, great. If you want to call me up and politely tell me to go pound sand. Great. But if you're calling me to raise your voice and talk to me like crap, just because you're of the belief that since you're on the phone, everybody will bow down & be oh so afraid of you, and know that you're a 7' tall heavily muscled man with a bad attitude
Got knews for you Pedro, you ain't gonna talk to Johnny Boy here that way. I'll come and talk to you about it. Grow a pair and let's have a conversation! Phone make a brother brave, huh!
I love these people.
These people are what I call...small weenied, narrow minded, numb-nut bastiches! People that, generally speaking, are built somewhere along the lines of the chess club champion from junior high. You know the kind. The guys who think that, through some majik of the telephone, they've grown 8 inches, gained 40 pounds, can now bench press 400 pounds, and look identical to some jerk-wad named Bradd Pitt.
And when they call, they know IT ALL!!! They've done more. They've accomplished feats that were only minutes before figments of Dr. Seuss' imagination. And unfortunately, they know that you're a dumb-ass.(they usually tell you)
You know what I like about these butt munchers? I like driving over to wherever they are and meeting them in person! I like the look in their eye when I actually get out of my truck to talk to them. See, I decided a long time ago that I don't like to be threatened over the phone. Pisses me off actually. If you're gonna threaten me, do it to my face. Don't hide behind a phone, or a computer. That just makes you a wuss!(and me mad)
I mean, I'm not exactly built like Michael Clarke Duncan (God rest his soul), but I'm not exactly Michael J. Fox either. What I have decided is that it doesn't really matter. It has nothing to do with your body size, muscles, hair, freckles, fingernails, or skin color. You're not gonna bully me.
If you want to call me up and have a nice civilized conversation about something, great. If you want to call me up and politely tell me to go pound sand. Great. But if you're calling me to raise your voice and talk to me like crap, just because you're of the belief that since you're on the phone, everybody will bow down & be oh so afraid of you, and know that you're a 7' tall heavily muscled man with a bad attitude
Got knews for you Pedro, you ain't gonna talk to Johnny Boy here that way. I'll come and talk to you about it. Grow a pair and let's have a conversation! Phone make a brother brave, huh!
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Silly little rants, really!
Well, here I am again. Just need to get something off my chest. Ever since the Ambassador to Libya was killed, I've been doing a lot of thinking. Scary I know. The USA sends a WHOLE lot of money every year as foreign aid to a bunch of different countries. Some of these countries you may have heard of. Places like Egypt. Places like Pakistan. Places like Iran.
Now call me silly, but doesn't it seem like we're giving away our hardearned borrowed dollars to countries that have a lot of people that are actively protesting us? We give billions of foreign aid to these countries who can't (or won't) protect our embassies, our ambassadors, our military, etc. Then they turn their backs when the "spontaneous" protests break out. Give me a frickin break!
Why the hell are we sending them money? Can't we keep all that money here and maybe pay off a couple of hours of the national debt interest?
Some other countries that receive aid, just so you know, are places like China, Russia, and India. In case you've been living under a rock, the foreign country holding the largest amount of U.S. debt is China. That's right, we give them money, then we borrow it back! Is this a screwed up government or what?
I think we've all figured out by now that I'm not the brightest crayon in the box. I'm more of a Granny Smith green color, compared to maybe a lemon yellow. But I bet if I gave a 10 year old a pencil and a Big Chief tablet and asked him to work out a word problem involving this, he could figure out that something stinks in Denmark.
The ass-clowns that occupy all the offices on Capitol Hill need to go. And I'm not being political on this. They ALL need to go. And before you get your knickers in a knot, and say I'm being unfair and picking on the current administration, just realize I am. I'm also picking on the previous administrations.
You are correct in your assumption that I do not care for the political ideals of the current president. But the current nominee for the other party scares me almost as much. He was somewhere down around 5th on my list of choices. As my spousal unit has always said, it's a game to all of them. For the vast majority of ALL politicians, it's not about doing the right thing for the Country, it's about doing the right thing for them. Go third party. Go tea party. Go keg party.
Stop the stupidity. Stop it now. Vote for somebody out of the political arena. Vote for Larry who works at the tire store. Vote for Pedro, the guy who cuts grass for me. Vote for anybody named Bud. But PLEASE, vote anybody who's even remotely close to holding a nationally elected office out. Let's have a do-over.
I know this is a rant, and I don't care. I know there are a bunch of run-on sentences and not perfect grammar in this one. I don't care. What I do care about is our Country, and the way the rest of the world treats us even after we go waaaayyyyyy out of our way to help them. Piss on political correctness. Screw 'em. Take our Country back! Bring our troops home and lets concentrate on protecting ourselves instead of all the ungrateful bastards out there!
Now, get on with the rest of your day!
Now call me silly, but doesn't it seem like we're giving away our hard
Why the hell are we sending them money? Can't we keep all that money here and maybe pay off a couple of hours of the national debt interest?
Some other countries that receive aid, just so you know, are places like China, Russia, and India. In case you've been living under a rock, the foreign country holding the largest amount of U.S. debt is China. That's right, we give them money, then we borrow it back! Is this a screwed up government or what?
I think we've all figured out by now that I'm not the brightest crayon in the box. I'm more of a Granny Smith green color, compared to maybe a lemon yellow. But I bet if I gave a 10 year old a pencil and a Big Chief tablet and asked him to work out a word problem involving this, he could figure out that something stinks in Denmark.
The ass-clowns that occupy all the offices on Capitol Hill need to go. And I'm not being political on this. They ALL need to go. And before you get your knickers in a knot, and say I'm being unfair and picking on the current administration, just realize I am. I'm also picking on the previous administrations.
You are correct in your assumption that I do not care for the political ideals of the current president. But the current nominee for the other party scares me almost as much. He was somewhere down around 5th on my list of choices. As my spousal unit has always said, it's a game to all of them. For the vast majority of ALL politicians, it's not about doing the right thing for the Country, it's about doing the right thing for them. Go third party. Go tea party. Go keg party.
Stop the stupidity. Stop it now. Vote for somebody out of the political arena. Vote for Larry who works at the tire store. Vote for Pedro, the guy who cuts grass for me. Vote for anybody named Bud. But PLEASE, vote anybody who's even remotely close to holding a nationally elected office out. Let's have a do-over.
I know this is a rant, and I don't care. I know there are a bunch of run-on sentences and not perfect grammar in this one. I don't care. What I do care about is our Country, and the way the rest of the world treats us even after we go waaaayyyyyy out of our way to help them. Piss on political correctness. Screw 'em. Take our Country back! Bring our troops home and lets concentrate on protecting ourselves instead of all the ungrateful bastards out there!
Now, get on with the rest of your day!
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Chicken for lunch?
Okay, I've held my tongue as long as I can. This whole Chick Fil A thing has gotten totally and entirely out of hand. I went by to get me a dadgum sangwich yesterday and I couldn't even get in the parking lot! You had one group of people shouting something to the effect of "no chicken, not for you, cuz you think we should be in a zoo". On the other side of the parking lot was a group of middle aged white guys shouting stuff like "If it's good enough for Gawd, it's good enough for us!"(say it in a Jerry Falwell voice)
In case you're wondering, I just made that crap up, but it's just about that bad!
Now, I want to go on the record as saying I don't have any issues with the GLBT community. I don't participate, but I don't have any issues. Some of my favorite people in the world are part of this community.
With that being said, I also want to go on the record as saying "I support traditional marriage". That's right cupcake, I can do both! And don't give me any crap about me being a Commie Pinko Bed-wetter just because I said it.
You see, the very Constitution that gives people the right to boycott someplace is the exact same Constitution that gives the people the right to say something to get boycotted over!
If you don't agree with a Company's mission, vision, dress code, menu or choice of toilet paper in the bathrooms, don't go there. That's your choice. It's also my choice if I choose to go there. That's how freedom works.
Years ago in my dark past, I went into an establishment one night, not knowing what kind of establishment it was. Let's just say for a corn-fed farm-boy from the hill country, it was a little, um, "out there"! (I never really knew what studded collars were for until then!) You wanna know what I did? I went out and made a commercial asking all straight people to boycott the club! And then I started a protest out in the street. And I did interviews saying stuff like "it's ridiculous for them to support gay rights. They're not being fair! They're leaving me out!" Waaaaaahhhhhh!
What I really did was get the hell out in a rather prompt manner, while listening to cat-calls and laughter as I skeedaddled! And I never went back!
The lesson here, for all of you people out there with your knickers in a knot, is that it's your choice to not frequent Chick Fil A, just like it's Dan Cathy's right to support his vision of marriage.
Don't turn this into some kind of political bullcrap. It's the right of the owner of any establishment to set up their own rules. If they want to close on Sunday, great. If they want to support their vision of "traditional" marriage, great! (I could add a lot of humor within these parentheses about traditional marriage, but the spousal unit does read this!) And, if you don't want to eat there because of their views, don't.
Just, for Gawd's sake, give it a freakin rest!
In case you're wondering, I just made that crap up, but it's just about that bad!
Now, I want to go on the record as saying I don't have any issues with the GLBT community. I don't participate, but I don't have any issues. Some of my favorite people in the world are part of this community.
With that being said, I also want to go on the record as saying "I support traditional marriage". That's right cupcake, I can do both! And don't give me any crap about me being a Commie Pinko Bed-wetter just because I said it.
You see, the very Constitution that gives people the right to boycott someplace is the exact same Constitution that gives the people the right to say something to get boycotted over!
If you don't agree with a Company's mission, vision, dress code, menu or choice of toilet paper in the bathrooms, don't go there. That's your choice. It's also my choice if I choose to go there. That's how freedom works.
Years ago in my dark past, I went into an establishment one night, not knowing what kind of establishment it was. Let's just say for a corn-fed farm-boy from the hill country, it was a little, um, "out there"! (I never really knew what studded collars were for until then!) You wanna know what I did? I went out and made a commercial asking all straight people to boycott the club! And then I started a protest out in the street. And I did interviews saying stuff like "it's ridiculous for them to support gay rights. They're not being fair! They're leaving me out!" Waaaaaahhhhhh!
What I really did was get the hell out in a rather prompt manner, while listening to cat-calls and laughter as I skeedaddled! And I never went back!
The lesson here, for all of you people out there with your knickers in a knot, is that it's your choice to not frequent Chick Fil A, just like it's Dan Cathy's right to support his vision of marriage.
Don't turn this into some kind of political bullcrap. It's the right of the owner of any establishment to set up their own rules. If they want to close on Sunday, great. If they want to support their vision of "traditional" marriage, great! (I could add a lot of humor within these parentheses about traditional marriage, but the spousal unit does read this!) And, if you don't want to eat there because of their views, don't.
Just, for Gawd's sake, give it a freakin rest!
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Insurance, Shminsurance
We long ago established that I'm not the brightest crayon in the box, and I will readily admit to not doing enough research on the subject, but, it seems to me that forcing people to purchase insurance is about on the same par as forcing people to eat Brussel Sprouts. If people don't want to eat Brussel Sprouts, that should be their option.
I am fortunate enough to work somewhere that provides me with insurance. Ditto for my spousal unit. I pay for insurance on my kids. But I know a hell of a lot of people who don't have any insurance. For whatever reason. Some can't afford it. Some don't qualify for it. Some just don't see the need.
Let's take a quick moment to look at the demographic that can't fiscally afford insurance. The Country is in the worst economy since I don't know when (I could probably find out, but really, what's the point?). There are a lot of "displaced" workers who can't find a job, let alone find the money to pay for insurance. What do you think the real chances are of them being able to come up with the $300 a month once it's mandated? Any why would they? "Hey Charlie, get this. Them damn folks in the Gummint want me to pay for sumpin I been getting for free for all this time." That's right folks, this will be the logic.
Here's my prediction. Our fearless (fearful?) leaders are going to once again force some half-baked, dumb-ass idea down our throats, and then realize that "hey, wow! People can't afford to pay for this!" Guess what comes next? You got it! A new payroll tax!
It struck me this morning when I heard the verdict that when it was referred to it as "no more than a tax, similar to Social Security", what they were really telling me, so very subtly, was "get ready Chico, we're fixing to stick it to you again!"
Federal Income tax, Social Security tax, Medicare tax, Big-Brother insurance tax. Before long, I'll be paying the bastards in Congress to take a leak. (urination station tax) What all the people that think this is the best thing since Shiner beer gotta realize is that someone has to pay for this. The Government HAS NO MONEY!!! You can argue with me till you're blue in the face, but the fact remains, the Government HAS NO MONEY!
President Obama can't just go into his wallet and pull out the cash to cover it. Neither can the Congress. And just to keep this politically correct, neither could any of the previous administrations, be they elephants or asses. The ONLY way they have to raise money is by doing what I irreverently refer to as "screwing over the people"!(raising taxes)
I'm not sure what part of this whole healthcare debate makes any sense. (other than to those of you out there who list among their favorite world leaders people with names like Marx, Lenin and Castro) I'm not sure where in the Constitution it says "Jennie from the 'hood is guaranteed health insurance. I'm not sure anyone in this Country has actually read the Healthcare Bill. I'm not sure If anybody in this Country has actually read the Constitution.
Healthcare is NOT a right. It's a privilege. Whether you choose to accept and use this privilege is up to you. If you choose not to, and you don't get the care you desire, tough crap! You die! But in the end, it's still your decision, and nobody made it for you. And THAT my friends, is what this is all about!
Freedom!
I am fortunate enough to work somewhere that provides me with insurance. Ditto for my spousal unit. I pay for insurance on my kids. But I know a hell of a lot of people who don't have any insurance. For whatever reason. Some can't afford it. Some don't qualify for it. Some just don't see the need.
Let's take a quick moment to look at the demographic that can't fiscally afford insurance. The Country is in the worst economy since I don't know when (I could probably find out, but really, what's the point?). There are a lot of "displaced" workers who can't find a job, let alone find the money to pay for insurance. What do you think the real chances are of them being able to come up with the $300 a month once it's mandated? Any why would they? "Hey Charlie, get this. Them damn folks in the Gummint want me to pay for sumpin I been getting for free for all this time." That's right folks, this will be the logic.
Here's my prediction. Our fearless (fearful?) leaders are going to once again force some half-baked, dumb-ass idea down our throats, and then realize that "hey, wow! People can't afford to pay for this!" Guess what comes next? You got it! A new payroll tax!
It struck me this morning when I heard the verdict that when it was referred to it as "no more than a tax, similar to Social Security", what they were really telling me, so very subtly, was "get ready Chico, we're fixing to stick it to you again!"
Federal Income tax, Social Security tax, Medicare tax, Big-Brother insurance tax. Before long, I'll be paying the bastards in Congress to take a leak. (urination station tax) What all the people that think this is the best thing since Shiner beer gotta realize is that someone has to pay for this. The Government HAS NO MONEY!!! You can argue with me till you're blue in the face, but the fact remains, the Government HAS NO MONEY!
President Obama can't just go into his wallet and pull out the cash to cover it. Neither can the Congress. And just to keep this politically correct, neither could any of the previous administrations, be they elephants or asses. The ONLY way they have to raise money is by doing what I irreverently refer to as "screwing over the people"!(raising taxes)
I'm not sure what part of this whole healthcare debate makes any sense. (other than to those of you out there who list among their favorite world leaders people with names like Marx, Lenin and Castro) I'm not sure where in the Constitution it says "Jennie from the 'hood is guaranteed health insurance. I'm not sure anyone in this Country has actually read the Healthcare Bill. I'm not sure If anybody in this Country has actually read the Constitution.
Healthcare is NOT a right. It's a privilege. Whether you choose to accept and use this privilege is up to you. If you choose not to, and you don't get the care you desire, tough crap! You die! But in the end, it's still your decision, and nobody made it for you. And THAT my friends, is what this is all about!
Freedom!
Friday, June 22, 2012
Lubbock Texas in my rear view mirror
I discovered something last week. I don't like people. It's not really that I don't like people it's just, well yeah, I don't like people.
I had the distinct honor and privilege to accompany my 18 year old tax deduction to beautiful Lubbock, TX last week where the city motto is "The windiest and possibly dustiest place in the continental United States". I am of course just joking when I say this. El Paso is the windiest and dustiest place in the US.(also the dirtiest and nastiest)
What, you may ask, was the tax deduction wanting to do in Lubbock? What else is there to do in Lubbock but attend an institution of higher learning.(college to my hillbilly friends) That's right, the boy has decided that above all else, he wants to be a Red Raider.(not really above all else)(actually, not even close)(parties and girls would be above all else)(those might be above all else for me too!) God help Texas Tech!
I believe this was the first time that he actually got to experience the "real" Lubbock and college life. We went to get a burger one night and he asked, quite innocently, "what's that smell?". I quickly informed him that logic stated that there are apparently several bovine dining programs nearby, and wherever these are located, there is generally an abundance of nature's best fertilizer, and that he should probably get used to the smell, because the wind blows all the frickin time!
He was also quite concerned the next day that his eyesight was permanently damaged because everything looked red. I, once again, using my superior intellect and logic and reasoning capabilities was able to calm him with the simple words, "don't be a dumb-ass. That's dust in the air. Get used to that too!"
I will interject at this point that the Texas Tech campus is actually quite attractive, and the people, not just at the school, but in the entire city were more than generous and overall fantastic hosts! Especially the people at Chimy's.(if you ever find yourself in Lubbock, head there for a margarita!)
But back to the reason for this little story. People are stupid. I found myself time and time again wanting to strangle people right to the very edge of death, and then bringing them back, just so I could do it again!
People ask the most inane, idiotic questions. If they had bothered reading any of the 984 pages of correspondence they had received from this fine institution, they could have saved themselves some dignity, and not pushed others of us over that fine line between sanity and, oh, let's say homicidal tendencies.
They separated us out by the college discipline that our childrens would be studying to give us a little pep talk and to go over where, exactly the new cars and houses that you won't be buying the next 4 years would be going. So, off I went with the group to the college of Sportsmanship in Competitive Athletics. We sit, we listen to a group of attractive (and unattractive) people talk to us for 2 hours. Then, just when you think your bladder can't take any more, they open it up to questions. Some of the questions were very technical, and needed asking. Others, well, remember the homicidal tendencies line...
Q - Where will they get to park?
A - Wherever they can find a spot. There's 33,000 students on campus and twelve parking spots!
Q - Will taking this class interfere with the band schedule?
A - Who cares, it's band for God's sake.
Q - If they've already taken some of these classes, will they have to take them again?
A - Huh?
Q - What happens if they don't go to class?
A - They fail.
Q - If they don't show up for class, do you call them?
A - Huh? Tell them to buy an alarm clock.
Q - If they don't go to class, do you call us to let us know?
A - People! This is college! Tell your kids to get off their asses and go to class or you're not paying it! No we're not calling you. If you're that pathetic, YOU call them every morning to wake them out of their alcohol induced slumber!
You get the idea. On and on they went. And on. And on. And on. Finally, I just had to leave. How can these people have children smart enough to get into college? If they had just bothered putting away the "mobile communication device" long enough to listen to what the people were telling them, half of their damn questions would have gotten answered.(and I wouldn't have had to dispose of that body)
I did find out one thing about myself. I realized why I was never a good student. When people start talking and asking these idiotic questions, I totally zone out, and all I can think about is how hard I'll have to stab them to actually reach their heart with a ballpoint pen.
There, wasn't that pleasant?
I had the distinct honor and privilege to accompany my 18 year old tax deduction to beautiful Lubbock, TX last week where the city motto is "The windiest and possibly dustiest place in the continental United States". I am of course just joking when I say this. El Paso is the windiest and dustiest place in the US.(also the dirtiest and nastiest)
What, you may ask, was the tax deduction wanting to do in Lubbock? What else is there to do in Lubbock but attend an institution of higher learning.(college to my hillbilly friends) That's right, the boy has decided that above all else, he wants to be a Red Raider.(not really above all else)(actually, not even close)(parties and girls would be above all else)(those might be above all else for me too!) God help Texas Tech!
I believe this was the first time that he actually got to experience the "real" Lubbock and college life. We went to get a burger one night and he asked, quite innocently, "what's that smell?". I quickly informed him that logic stated that there are apparently several bovine dining programs nearby, and wherever these are located, there is generally an abundance of nature's best fertilizer, and that he should probably get used to the smell, because the wind blows all the frickin time!
He was also quite concerned the next day that his eyesight was permanently damaged because everything looked red. I, once again, using my superior intellect and logic and reasoning capabilities was able to calm him with the simple words, "don't be a dumb-ass. That's dust in the air. Get used to that too!"
I will interject at this point that the Texas Tech campus is actually quite attractive, and the people, not just at the school, but in the entire city were more than generous and overall fantastic hosts! Especially the people at Chimy's.(if you ever find yourself in Lubbock, head there for a margarita!)
But back to the reason for this little story. People are stupid. I found myself time and time again wanting to strangle people right to the very edge of death, and then bringing them back, just so I could do it again!
People ask the most inane, idiotic questions. If they had bothered reading any of the 984 pages of correspondence they had received from this fine institution, they could have saved themselves some dignity, and not pushed others of us over that fine line between sanity and, oh, let's say homicidal tendencies.
They separated us out by the college discipline that our childrens would be studying to give us a little pep talk and to go over where, exactly the new cars and houses that you won't be buying the next 4 years would be going. So, off I went with the group to the college of Sportsmanship in Competitive Athletics. We sit, we listen to a group of attractive (and unattractive) people talk to us for 2 hours. Then, just when you think your bladder can't take any more, they open it up to questions. Some of the questions were very technical, and needed asking. Others, well, remember the homicidal tendencies line...
Q - Where will they get to park?
A - Wherever they can find a spot. There's 33,000 students on campus and twelve parking spots!
Q - Will taking this class interfere with the band schedule?
A - Who cares, it's band for God's sake.
Q - If they've already taken some of these classes, will they have to take them again?
A - Huh?
Q - What happens if they don't go to class?
A - They fail.
Q - If they don't show up for class, do you call them?
A - Huh? Tell them to buy an alarm clock.
Q - If they don't go to class, do you call us to let us know?
A - People! This is college! Tell your kids to get off their asses and go to class or you're not paying it! No we're not calling you. If you're that pathetic, YOU call them every morning to wake them out of their alcohol induced slumber!
You get the idea. On and on they went. And on. And on. And on. Finally, I just had to leave. How can these people have children smart enough to get into college? If they had just bothered putting away the "mobile communication device" long enough to listen to what the people were telling them, half of their damn questions would have gotten answered.(and I wouldn't have had to dispose of that body)
I did find out one thing about myself. I realized why I was never a good student. When people start talking and asking these idiotic questions, I totally zone out, and all I can think about is how hard I'll have to stab them to actually reach their heart with a ballpoint pen.
There, wasn't that pleasant?
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
I've got Spurs, that jingle, jangle, jingle!
I'm pretty sure I've published this blog before, or maybe one just like it. What the Hell is up with the Spurs? Maybe they are trying to be "Casey-at-the-bat". You know, where he's so confident he gets up to bat and doesn't bother swinging at the first two pitches, then, on the 3rd pitch, he takes a huge swing and.............strikes out!
I mean, seriously, it didn't even look like they wanted to be there half the game last night. Maybe they just couldn't quite comprehend how anybody could come into their home turf and beat up on them. I've railed about it before, but seriously! How do you miss that many shots without TRYING? I can shoot better and I've only got 4 toes and 1 arm.(actually, I have two arms, but sometimes my left elbow hurts, so it WOULD make shooting difficult)(the part about the toes is just total fabrication)(I have 10 toes, all webbed. I just said that to ensure hilarity)
I know before the season started, when all the NBA whiney-asses were sitting at home drinking their Voss water and eating their eel gonad sushi rolls that I said I was done. And I was. Until the season actually got rolling for a couple of weeks. Then I was back on like a meth hooker who'd just scored enough cash for a binge!(not that I know what this is like)
It's like when I quit tobacco products for the 231st time. It only took a few weeks for me to decide it was better to have a nicotine fix than spend the next 4 - 7 years saying "shaking the bush, Boss". It wan't until the 518th time I quit tobacco products that I actually succeeded. Im my estimation, I still have about 46 more seasons of Spurs basketball before I truly and officially quit.
Not to discount the Thunder. If there is any NBA team I would want to win instead of the Spurs, it's probably them. (in spite of the fact that they have Derrick Fisher on their team, and I still can't get past the fact that he stuck a knife in the heart of the Spurs a few years ago!) They seem to be a quality team with an overall good group of guys. Not like some other NBA teams, who insist on filling every spot on the roster with wife-beaters, druggies, gansters and thugs.
I still have the comfort in my heart of knowing that the Mavericks and Mark Cuban were swept in the first round. Arrogant little ass. What do you call 12 millionaires sitting around watching the Western Conference Finals? The Dallas Mavericks!
I'm also pretty happy that the Lakers got the boot too! Never has there been a team I root against quite as hard as the Lakers! Unless it's the Heat. Both a bunch of "look-at-me" wanna-be Superhero's.
So now, everybody get behind the Spurs and cheer them on! If they lose, IT'S YOUR FAULT!!! And if you happen to be a Thunder fan, Suck it!
Friday, May 18, 2012
Like a bad virus that just won't go away, I'm BACK! I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "wow, I thought (hoped) he'd died!". Well tough luck sucka's! I'm back and I've been repressing my feelings for several months in an effort to make a memorable comeback post!
I shouldn't even be here right now. If I had listened to the doctors and just given up when all hope was lost, I probably wouldn't be here. But I didn't listen! I fought! Hard! And now, I'm standing (sitting) here in front of you again, listening to the rain, drinking a glass of scotch, and sucking on a big fat cuban. (cigar)
Okay, not really. I dont' like scotch, or cigars, and I'm kinda tired of the rain. The only thing that was true in the previous paragraph was the part about not listening to doctors. (and sitting)
I've come out of my self-inflicted hermitage because there are a few things that need to be pointed out.
First. What happened to the black dude in the republican race? I thought he was great. Oh, he did what? So? What's that got to do with running the country? It was HOW long ago? Dang! Where've I been?
Okay, second. You've heard me rant before about pro basketball players being spoiled-ass little whiny brats! I still stand by those statements, but DAMN are the Spurs playing some ball! Spurs/Celtics finals!
And while we're on b-ball, who else out there found it surprisingly delicious that the Mavericks were swept in the first round? The only thing even close to being as enjoyable is the fact that the Lakers are now down 0-2! Waaaaaahhhhhhh. Kobe wanna cwy?
And the Heat! Wow! maybe instead of hiring all the top dawgs that are out there, Pat should've spent a little more time looking for people who actually know how to pass the ball. (and not dish out cheap-shot fouls) And the fact that they are down in the series is only marginally lower in my book than the Lakers. It used to be the only 2 teams I wanted to lose were whoever was playing the Spurs, and whoever Pat Riley coached! (I've expanded my list since then)
For those of you keeping score at home, it's now down to 2 candidates in the Republican primary.(I think) I'm pretty sure one is a rich white dude from up north somewhere, and the other is a rich white dude from Texas. I report, you decide!
I heard today that they found proof that Obama was born in Kenya. One side of the room says "that's not true. It's just the right wing fanatics trying to make up stories!" The other side says "see, we told you! You left wing fanatics just don't want to admit you're wrong!" My side of the room says, who cares where the hell he was born, he sucks like a Hoover! Get him out!
And just to try to balance out my previous comment, I will say.............nothing! He sucks! Get him out!
Of course, he's not the only one who sucks! There's so much suckage in DC right now, it's creating a black hole!
Wanna know what else sucks? I have several friends right now on their way to the coast for a nice relaxing weekend of fishing. You know what I'll be doing? NOT FISHING!!! I'm not sure if it blows, or sucks, but either way, I'm not there!
Saturday, January 28, 2012
The four horsemen (aka the four republican candidates)
Wow! I feel incredibly honored today. I have been asked by legions of followers to provide some insight and thoughts into the Republican candidates for President, their campaign styles, and the fact that at least one of them wears ugly suits.
First off, I need to go on record as saying that I am not affiliated with any network or cable news programs. I have refused all the offers for millions of dollars in order to remain completely neutral on all subjects. It's a sacrifice, but one I'm willing to make for you, my readers.
The question has been asked "why are all the candidates ranting that the government should get out of the way so businesses and people can be successful, but then attack Mitt Romney for being successful?". Quite simple really. It's the same principle used in solving those dreaded word problems in 4th grade math. Let me explain...say Newt Gingrich left Georgia headed West in a Cadillac Escalade at 70 mph. At the same moment, Mitt Romney left Chigago in a fully appointed luxury motor home with a personal valet and driver and headed south at 63.4 mph. Rick Santorum was touring out west and decided to leave Oregon at the same moment headed east in his '08 Chevy Tahoe at 74 mph. Ron Paul was back home in the great state of Texas, and lo and behold, he needed to go north, so he jumped in his '97 Chrysler Sebring and took off at 58 mph.
They all arrive at the same intersection at the same time, and since none of them want to concede ground, they all collide and end up dying in a huge ball of fire. Who would ultimately end up the winner?
Can you see it? The answer is...the people of the USA! Now with all these ass-clowns out of the way, we can nominate someone who doesn't give a crap about the system, or the prestige, or the title. Someone who isn't referred to as "Mr Speaker", or "Congressman", or "Governer". Someone who just wants to get America back on track!
And another thing, why do they all talk about "we need someone from outside the system", when, it appears to my uneducated ass that they're all pretty much from within the "system"? If you want somebody from outside the system, why not nominate Larry, the pest control guy from Ozona, TX?
Okay, that was all just to put some thoughts in your heads! The question is actually one that I have wondered myself. If free enterprise is good, and we are all encouraged when we're little people (kids, not dwarfs) to work hard to succeed, and pursue high paying jobs, etc., etc., why, when you make it big, do you suddenly become evil?
Now, for me personally, Mitt Romney scares me a little bit. It's not his money (that just makes me envious) it's the fact that I think he's a little too far left on certain issues. I also think he made himself look slippery as hell with the whole tax return business. (I also don't think releasing tax return information has a damn thing in the world to do with running the country)
Newt Gingrich comes with a lot of baggage. As in, I could tour Russia for 7 months with his bags! I don't care how many wives he's had, or how he made his millions. I don't care that he had a consulting job with a government agency (actually, I find it a little funny that he ONLY made a mil and a half off the gov't.). He strikes me as a little abrasive, and that damn fake smile of his just makes me want to pimp-slap him!
Rick Santorum. Wow, I didn't realize Al Gore had a younger brother. If you listen to any of the debates, you're going to hear him say on more than one occasion, "I was the first to do that", or "I was there when that happened". How is it that a guy that looks like he's about 25 was the first do all this stuff? I'm pretty sure if someone mentioned Mount Rushmore in a debate, he's probably the guy that carved Roosevelts nose!
My Texas homie Ron Paul seems to be about half lost most of the time. When the camera pans to him, he always looks like he just remembered that he forgot to take his supplements that morning. Kind of a shocked, WTH look on his face. But in his defense, he was an OB/GYN, so you know he got to look at a ton of boobies in his life, and he might just be thinking of that!
So that leaves us here, wondering what the hell to do. Go Vote. Figure out which of the "none of the aboves" you want to vote for, and go vote. The fact is, this country's in an absolute mess, and if we don't get somebody in there with big enough cajones to tell the "government as usual" crowd to kiss his (or her) ass, we are going to stay in trouble. All of the candidates have valid points, and all of the candidates are full of crap!
And as a note to the candidates...You are all basically on the same side. Get your heads out of your asses and stop attacking each other and start attacking the problem. Tell me how you're going to fix the country when you're elected. (and none of the crap about "I'm going to create a bipartisan coalition to study the issue") Stop taking the safe routes. This country was founded by people taking risks. People succeed in this country by taking risks. Take some risks. Tell people not what you think they want to hear, tell them the truth!
So, my challenge to all four of you is this...go shake hands, go back to your office, write down as concisely as possible your thoughts and ideas about how to fix the mess we're in, and each of you gets allotted 30 minutes to lay it out on national TV. No questions, no attacks, just you by yourself getting your ideas to the people. And if any of you gets sidetracked and mentions one of the other candidates, Otto the dairy farmer is standing behind you with a cattle prod. Now get off your ass and get to work!
And for all the rest of you, my challenge to you is to go vote, not only in the general election, but also the primaries. If you don't vote, you don't have the right to even open your mouth about politics!
I hope this starts to answer your questions. If not, no harm done. It was still fun to write!
First off, I need to go on record as saying that I am not affiliated with any network or cable news programs. I have refused all the offers for millions of dollars in order to remain completely neutral on all subjects. It's a sacrifice, but one I'm willing to make for you, my readers.
The question has been asked "why are all the candidates ranting that the government should get out of the way so businesses and people can be successful, but then attack Mitt Romney for being successful?". Quite simple really. It's the same principle used in solving those dreaded word problems in 4th grade math. Let me explain...say Newt Gingrich left Georgia headed West in a Cadillac Escalade at 70 mph. At the same moment, Mitt Romney left Chigago in a fully appointed luxury motor home with a personal valet and driver and headed south at 63.4 mph. Rick Santorum was touring out west and decided to leave Oregon at the same moment headed east in his '08 Chevy Tahoe at 74 mph. Ron Paul was back home in the great state of Texas, and lo and behold, he needed to go north, so he jumped in his '97 Chrysler Sebring and took off at 58 mph.
They all arrive at the same intersection at the same time, and since none of them want to concede ground, they all collide and end up dying in a huge ball of fire. Who would ultimately end up the winner?
Can you see it? The answer is...the people of the USA! Now with all these ass-clowns out of the way, we can nominate someone who doesn't give a crap about the system, or the prestige, or the title. Someone who isn't referred to as "Mr Speaker", or "Congressman", or "Governer". Someone who just wants to get America back on track!
And another thing, why do they all talk about "we need someone from outside the system", when, it appears to my uneducated ass that they're all pretty much from within the "system"? If you want somebody from outside the system, why not nominate Larry, the pest control guy from Ozona, TX?
Okay, that was all just to put some thoughts in your heads! The question is actually one that I have wondered myself. If free enterprise is good, and we are all encouraged when we're little people (kids, not dwarfs) to work hard to succeed, and pursue high paying jobs, etc., etc., why, when you make it big, do you suddenly become evil?
Now, for me personally, Mitt Romney scares me a little bit. It's not his money (that just makes me envious) it's the fact that I think he's a little too far left on certain issues. I also think he made himself look slippery as hell with the whole tax return business. (I also don't think releasing tax return information has a damn thing in the world to do with running the country)
Newt Gingrich comes with a lot of baggage. As in, I could tour Russia for 7 months with his bags! I don't care how many wives he's had, or how he made his millions. I don't care that he had a consulting job with a government agency (actually, I find it a little funny that he ONLY made a mil and a half off the gov't.). He strikes me as a little abrasive, and that damn fake smile of his just makes me want to pimp-slap him!
Rick Santorum. Wow, I didn't realize Al Gore had a younger brother. If you listen to any of the debates, you're going to hear him say on more than one occasion, "I was the first to do that", or "I was there when that happened". How is it that a guy that looks like he's about 25 was the first do all this stuff? I'm pretty sure if someone mentioned Mount Rushmore in a debate, he's probably the guy that carved Roosevelts nose!
My Texas homie Ron Paul seems to be about half lost most of the time. When the camera pans to him, he always looks like he just remembered that he forgot to take his supplements that morning. Kind of a shocked, WTH look on his face. But in his defense, he was an OB/GYN, so you know he got to look at a ton of boobies in his life, and he might just be thinking of that!
So that leaves us here, wondering what the hell to do. Go Vote. Figure out which of the "none of the aboves" you want to vote for, and go vote. The fact is, this country's in an absolute mess, and if we don't get somebody in there with big enough cajones to tell the "government as usual" crowd to kiss his (or her) ass, we are going to stay in trouble. All of the candidates have valid points, and all of the candidates are full of crap!
And as a note to the candidates...You are all basically on the same side. Get your heads out of your asses and stop attacking each other and start attacking the problem. Tell me how you're going to fix the country when you're elected. (and none of the crap about "I'm going to create a bipartisan coalition to study the issue") Stop taking the safe routes. This country was founded by people taking risks. People succeed in this country by taking risks. Take some risks. Tell people not what you think they want to hear, tell them the truth!
So, my challenge to all four of you is this...go shake hands, go back to your office, write down as concisely as possible your thoughts and ideas about how to fix the mess we're in, and each of you gets allotted 30 minutes to lay it out on national TV. No questions, no attacks, just you by yourself getting your ideas to the people. And if any of you gets sidetracked and mentions one of the other candidates, Otto the dairy farmer is standing behind you with a cattle prod. Now get off your ass and get to work!
And for all the rest of you, my challenge to you is to go vote, not only in the general election, but also the primaries. If you don't vote, you don't have the right to even open your mouth about politics!
I hope this starts to answer your questions. If not, no harm done. It was still fun to write!
Friday, January 6, 2012
New Years Resolutions
Well, New Year's has come and passed, and it's time to start really getting serious about my resolutions! I made several this year, hoping at least one would stick! Some were extremely well thought out. Some not so much. In an effort to be held accountable, I'm going to post them here.
I resolve this year to eat more bacon. As I've said in the past, really the perfect food when you get right down to it. So far, I'm doing pretty well with this one.
I resolve to not do stupid things this year. Not that I ever intend to do stupid things, it just sorta happens. This year, I'm gonna keep an eye on it & see if we can slow up the whole stupidity thing. (it's usually not really big things, it's just more of a lot of little stupid things that add up!)
I resolve to be more outspoken, less sublime. I know a lot of you are thinking that this can't even be possible, but trust me, if I said half the things that go through my head on a daily basis, I'd probably only have a handful of followers on this blog! (oh wait, I DO only have a handful of followers!) (oh well, piss on 'em if they don't like what I've got to say!)
I resolve to be more truthful with people, even if it hurts their feelings! (again, this might be a little redundant if you really stop to think about it) If I have ever offended anybody on this blog, I offer my sincerest I don't cares! It's not that I really TRY to hurt peoples feelings, it just happens sometimes. Basically, you need to grow a thicker skin if you're going to read stuff like this on the internet.
Speaking of the internet, I resolve to post as many rumors as possible this year and see how many of them come back to me in the form of "can you believe those ass-clowns in Washington are thinking about..." I love jacking with people who believe everything they read. Must be the truth, it's on the internet! (which I invented, by the way)
I'm also going to burn more things this year. Not enough things get burnt. Not like wildfires or anything like that, but small, contained fires in the ole backyard. (hopefully, not too many bridges get burnt though, that would be a little unfortunate)(or dumpsters for those of you who heard about "the incident")
I resolve to drink more water every day. I really try to drink a lot of water everyday. Some crap about it being good for you or something. It's pretty hard to do sometimes. I'd always much rather have a nice glass of sweet tea, or maybe a nice cold adult beverage. Maybe if I empty out a beer can and fill it with water, I can trick my mind into thinking I'm actually drinking beer! It's gonna be pretty hard to explain the Lone Star tallboy on my desk, but whatever works!
And finally, I resolve to be a nicer person this year. I know, I know, who could possibly be nicer than me! I keep telling the people at work the same thing, but so far, all I've gotten are rolled eyes! I really am a nice person! I am! It's just that I have to suppress all of that so I don't come across as a pushover with people. I put on this big front of being a no nonsense kind of guy. Of standing up for what I believe and telling people what they need to hear. But in fact, deep down inside, I'm just a lonely little boy, trying my hardest to survive in this vicious world! A small, terified, little puppy loving boy who wants nothing more out of life than to run and play with my friends and get dreamsicle treats from the ice cream man.
Oh yea, I also resolve to blog more. Lucky bastiches!
I resolve this year to eat more bacon. As I've said in the past, really the perfect food when you get right down to it. So far, I'm doing pretty well with this one.
I resolve to not do stupid things this year. Not that I ever intend to do stupid things, it just sorta happens. This year, I'm gonna keep an eye on it & see if we can slow up the whole stupidity thing. (it's usually not really big things, it's just more of a lot of little stupid things that add up!)
I resolve to be more outspoken, less sublime. I know a lot of you are thinking that this can't even be possible, but trust me, if I said half the things that go through my head on a daily basis, I'd probably only have a handful of followers on this blog! (oh wait, I DO only have a handful of followers!) (oh well, piss on 'em if they don't like what I've got to say!)
I resolve to be more truthful with people, even if it hurts their feelings! (again, this might be a little redundant if you really stop to think about it) If I have ever offended anybody on this blog, I offer my sincerest I don't cares! It's not that I really TRY to hurt peoples feelings, it just happens sometimes. Basically, you need to grow a thicker skin if you're going to read stuff like this on the internet.
Speaking of the internet, I resolve to post as many rumors as possible this year and see how many of them come back to me in the form of "can you believe those ass-clowns in Washington are thinking about..." I love jacking with people who believe everything they read. Must be the truth, it's on the internet! (which I invented, by the way)
I'm also going to burn more things this year. Not enough things get burnt. Not like wildfires or anything like that, but small, contained fires in the ole backyard. (hopefully, not too many bridges get burnt though, that would be a little unfortunate)(or dumpsters for those of you who heard about "the incident")
I resolve to drink more water every day. I really try to drink a lot of water everyday. Some crap about it being good for you or something. It's pretty hard to do sometimes. I'd always much rather have a nice glass of sweet tea, or maybe a nice cold adult beverage. Maybe if I empty out a beer can and fill it with water, I can trick my mind into thinking I'm actually drinking beer! It's gonna be pretty hard to explain the Lone Star tallboy on my desk, but whatever works!
And finally, I resolve to be a nicer person this year. I know, I know, who could possibly be nicer than me! I keep telling the people at work the same thing, but so far, all I've gotten are rolled eyes! I really am a nice person! I am! It's just that I have to suppress all of that so I don't come across as a pushover with people. I put on this big front of being a no nonsense kind of guy. Of standing up for what I believe and telling people what they need to hear. But in fact, deep down inside, I'm just a lonely little boy, trying my hardest to survive in this vicious world! A small, terified, little puppy loving boy who wants nothing more out of life than to run and play with my friends and get dreamsicle treats from the ice cream man.
Oh yea, I also resolve to blog more. Lucky bastiches!
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