Well, New Year's has come and passed, and it's time to start really getting serious about my resolutions! I made several this year, hoping at least one would stick! Some were extremely well thought out. Some not so much. In an effort to be held accountable, I'm going to post them here.
I resolve this year to eat more bacon. As I've said in the past, really the perfect food when you get right down to it. So far, I'm doing pretty well with this one.
I resolve to not do stupid things this year. Not that I ever intend to do stupid things, it just sorta happens. This year, I'm gonna keep an eye on it & see if we can slow up the whole stupidity thing. (it's usually not really big things, it's just more of a lot of little stupid things that add up!)
I resolve to be more outspoken, less sublime. I know a lot of you are thinking that this can't even be possible, but trust me, if I said half the things that go through my head on a daily basis, I'd probably only have a handful of followers on this blog! (oh wait, I DO only have a handful of followers!) (oh well, piss on 'em if they don't like what I've got to say!)
I resolve to be more truthful with people, even if it hurts their feelings! (again, this might be a little redundant if you really stop to think about it) If I have ever offended anybody on this blog, I offer my sincerest I don't cares! It's not that I really TRY to hurt peoples feelings, it just happens sometimes. Basically, you need to grow a thicker skin if you're going to read stuff like this on the internet.
Speaking of the internet, I resolve to post as many rumors as possible this year and see how many of them come back to me in the form of "can you believe those ass-clowns in Washington are thinking about..." I love jacking with people who believe everything they read. Must be the truth, it's on the internet! (which I invented, by the way)
I'm also going to burn more things this year. Not enough things get burnt. Not like wildfires or anything like that, but small, contained fires in the ole backyard. (hopefully, not too many bridges get burnt though, that would be a little unfortunate)(or dumpsters for those of you who heard about "the incident")
I resolve to drink more water every day. I really try to drink a lot of water everyday. Some crap about it being good for you or something. It's pretty hard to do sometimes. I'd always much rather have a nice glass of sweet tea, or maybe a nice cold adult beverage. Maybe if I empty out a beer can and fill it with water, I can trick my mind into thinking I'm actually drinking beer! It's gonna be pretty hard to explain the Lone Star tallboy on my desk, but whatever works!
And finally, I resolve to be a nicer person this year. I know, I know, who could possibly be nicer than me! I keep telling the people at work the same thing, but so far, all I've gotten are rolled eyes! I really am a nice person! I am! It's just that I have to suppress all of that so I don't come across as a pushover with people. I put on this big front of being a no nonsense kind of guy. Of standing up for what I believe and telling people what they need to hear. But in fact, deep down inside, I'm just a lonely little boy, trying my hardest to survive in this vicious world! A small, terified, little puppy loving boy who wants nothing more out of life than to run and play with my friends and get dreamsicle treats from the ice cream man.
Oh yea, I also resolve to blog more. Lucky bastiches!
No comments:
Post a Comment