To Hell and Beyond!

I don't have a real good idea of what Hell is really like.  Is it the burning lake kinda stuff that we all learned about in Vacation Bible School as kids, or is it more tailored to the individual?  I'm really thinking it's more individualized, and I believe that today, I got a glimpse into what my personal Hell will be like. 

Accounting.

There, I've said it.  Accounting is my personal Hell.  I know some of you will really have a problem with this, but it's true.  I'm not a debit and credit kinda guy.  I barely know what accrual means and now I've got to account it?  If there has to be a negative and positive for every entry, what's the point?  Don't they just balance out?

There are a few people in the world that actually like playing with numbers.  They actually go to college and study this stuff.  These people are called "nerds". (ha, fooled you, you thought I was gonna say "dorks", didn't you)  These are the people that took slide-rule as an elective in high school.  The kind that had the Texas Instruments calculator in the little carrying case on their belt.  In they're dreams, they see adding machines (do they still have those?) and calculator tape.  They understand how much interest to write off and exactly what code to use to enter it in the computer.  They care about this stuff.  A lot!

Me, not so much.  I like to build things. Occasionally I like to tear things down. I like to know how things are put together. I like to get my hands dirty. I like to use tools. I like smelling sawdust. I like creating sawdust. (not real wild about snorting sawdust, but I will admit, when I was younger, there was this party.....)

I get the privilege of going through a bunch of stuff that's really, really screwed up and try to get all the little square accounting pegs in all the little square accounting holes.  The problem is, for the last several years we've had "professional" accountants doing this work.  And even though, on the surface, "professional" accounting folks appear to like every penny in it's place and all pennies accounted for, sometimes, that's just not the case.  I mean seriously, HOW CAN YOU LOSE A $40,000 INTEREST PAYMENT???????????
Sometimes, the "theory" of accounting should stay just that.  A theory!  I don't need another knob-kneed, spikey-haired dweeb telling me that I'm doing it wrong, just to be proven wrong themselves!  I don't need a master accountant to come tell me how to balance a checkbook.  I know how to do it! (and for that special someone, just because I know HOW to do it, doesn't mean I ACTUALLY do it!)

I'm pretty sure the same entry was done at least 7 times for one thing. (apparently too much time on our hands at one point)  Put it in, take it out.  Put it in, take it out.  (sounds like a day in the life of a fudgesicle at Rosie O'Donnel's house)  (Get your minds out of the gutter!) 

My conclusion, after this wonderful, fun-filled morning is this:  It doesn't matter how many years you go to school to learn to count, or how prestigious the school is, or how much it cost you to get the advanced degree in counting.  If you have no common sense, you're still just a little nerd with no friends, bad hair, zits on your forhead and an incredibly grating voice. (this was not a personal attack)  (Who'm I kidding?  It was incredibly personal.)  And did I mention you look like Granny from "The Beverly Hillbillies"?