Yes, I know it's been a while since I've been on here. Trust me, the millions of followers have been continually harrasing me because of the lack of posts. Just seemed easier to give up than get p.o.'d all the time about the things I write about. Truth of the matter is, I was getting so p.o.'d about things that I couldn't write! But I'm better now. (not bitter now, which one might expect)
I heard this morning that the beautiful city of San Antonio is being petitioned to become a "Sanctuary City". At first I said to myself, "self", I said, "that sounds like a pretty cool idea. We could be known as a sanctuary. A place where people from other towns come to to commune with nature. To kick back & relax. To be a peaceful place." Then it was explained that what these imbecilic knuckle dragging monkeys acually want is a place where every illegal immigrant can flock to! Where we won't spend any money trying to prosecute these law breaking bags of donkey dung! What the crap? Why don't we just rent a giant billboard in every damn border town from Matamoras to Tijuana saying, "hey Vato, get your ass to San Antonio. The Americano's there are so stupid they don't even want to enforce their own laws".
What a stupid ass thing to even consider! What a just absolutely brilliant frickin' idea! Let's not go after the illegals, even if they break a law, even though they've already broken a law. What a bunch of squirrel ass nut-jobs we've become. Jeeeeesh!
Sarah Palin announced yesterday that she would not be running for president. I don't know, nor do I care what any of your political beliefs are. I think we can all agree on this one point...the field of possible candidates just got a lot uglier!
And speaking of ugly, isn't the election for president still over a year away? Why do these people get to start campaigning already? Don't they have jobs to do? I mean, Rick Perry is still Governor of Texas! Doesn't he have a rock to go paint or something? Okay, that was a low blow. I don't think he's racist, and I think the whole "minority head" ranch thing was way blown out of proportion. What's more, I don't remember his side of the story getting any air time. I don't really care one way or the other, I won't vote for him anyway, I just think he got the short end of the stick. What about Mitt Romney? Shouldn't he be counting his money? Shouldn't Herman Cain be delivering a pizza or something? I don't want to have to listen to all this crap & all these lies for the next 13 months! I know, I know, they're not all lies. When one of the candidates says they need to pee, that's probably the truth! (Question...how do you know when a politician is lying?)
And another irritating political thing. How come President Obama is known as "The first black president"? Did I miss something? I thought he was 1/2 white? From now on, I'd like the media to refer to him as the first black/44th (or 45th?) white president. I always get a big kick out of how people want to be of a certain racial orientation just so they get the benefits of it. (Actually Larry, I'm 1/64th Zulu, so I should actually get that scholarship for canabalism!) Hey, I'm at least a little bit of some other race, though I'm not sure what it is. Can I just make some crap up to put on the kids scholarship applications? I've been referred to as a "red-neck" quite a bit in my life. Doesn't that make me an Indian? (Feather not Dot)
I'm sure my viewing masses will be highly entertained, and not a little bit enlightened by this small piece of literature. So I personally thank all of you that stayed on my ass until I wrote something again. You know who you are. (actually, you don't, since there was no one that said, "hey, you need to write your blog again. That was terribly entertaining and enlightening. It was the best thing on the internet. You should be on the news. You should write for the paper. You should run for President.)
(answer...when their lips are moving!)
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