Recently heard about a new diet that was sweeping the nation.  Apparently it involves sticking magnets on one side of your face or the other.  One side is to lose pounds.  The other side is to lose inches.(I'm cautioning all male readers not to try this diet)  Now I'm not real sure which side is which, but as the 17 year old said, "isn't there a direct correllation?".  I may be naive,  but if you lose pounds, aren't you, by default, going to lose inches?  It was about this time that I started "wondering" about one of my favorite people in the world. 

This isn't even something that you can just grab a refrigerator magnet and stick on your face.  Some kind of "top-secret" military grade magnet or something. (if it was that easy, I'd be buying s big sheet of magnet & wrapping it around my belly!)(inches or pounds though?)  Apparently requires a highly trained "expert" to be able to do this.  Someone with the patience of Ghandi, the strength of Superman, and the wisdom of MacGyver.  There are a lot of goofy diet plans out there, but this is one for the books!

I once heard of a diet where you can lose 10 pounds in a week by eating nothing but onions! (you can lose 150 pounds in a week, if you consider that your girlfriend is gonna leave you)  Or eat nothing but grapefruits and eggs for a week.(who would do this?)  How about eating all your meals with a crab fork? (wouldn't this just require more trips to the pie hole?)  My personal favorite is the "tapeworm" diet.  You guessed it.  they put a tapeworm larvae in you & it goes to work! (don't even want to get into the thought process about this one)

I like the way that all the diet supplement ads on tv say "when used as directed along with a sensible meal plan".  Here's the basic flaw in the logic.  If everybody followed a "sensible" meal plan, nobody would actually need the stuff they're selling!  Kinda like selling "instant water", where all you've got to do is add water!  I think what the ads need to say are "when used as directed, and as long as you stop the stupid crap you've been doing all your life like eating 2 bags of potato chips every time you pick the kids up from school, or eating a gallon of ice cream every night at 11:30 just to help you sleep", but that would probably be too long to fit on the label. (have to go to those labels like you find on weed killer that open up to 17 pages of what not to do)

Here's what I think.(shocking to offer up an opinion, I know)  Exercise more.  Eat less.  Maybe we can call this the democrat republican common sense diet!  In the words of the band Queen, "Get on your bike and ride"!  Maybe if I come up with some really cool graphics, and put labels on bottles with a little note saying "Exercise more.  Eat less." I can sell my diet plan on late night tv infomercials! (for 2 low payments of $19.99...when used as directed along with a sensible meal plan!)

I personally am anti-diet.(unless it's the ice cream and Shiner Bock diet)  I've heard that ones real easy to follow!