Well, it's Christmas time again. Christmas time. Not Holiday time. The fact that there are other holidays that just so happen to fall during this time of year is none of my concern. It's Christmas time. I'm a Christian. I celebrate Christmas.
If I were Jewish, I would celebrate Chanukah. I'm not, but I've known some. Most of them, at one point or another, I have said "Merry Christmas" to. Guess what? NONE of them have been offended! I've even asked a couple of times if I've offended them. (not really cared, but asked none the less) If I happen to be in a store and see a display of Menorahs, I would expect it to say something along the lines of "celebrate the Chanukah season", not "Happy Holidays". They know what they're celebrating, just like I know what I'm celebrating!
And guess what else? I wouldn't be offended to see the word "Chanukah" used in advertising. It's their religion. They have just as much right to see it in print as I do to see Christmas. I believe it's not really either the Christians or the Jews, or the Muslims, or the Hindu's or whoever. It's the damn commies. That's right! The commies!
Why, back in my day, we knew who our enemy was. It was the damn commies! Everything I ever learnt in school was geared toward fearing and hating the damn commies. They wuz gonna drop some nucular (thanks GB) bombs on us & we wuz gonna drop some nucular bombs on them. They hated us cuz we was a powerful nation, and we hated them cuz they was commies. Then somepin happened, and we din't hate em no more.
Once we didn't have the commies to hate and fear, we had to have something. So society turned on our own. We couldn't call em commies any more. We had to start saying things like "the fine fellows over in Moscow", and "our friends the Russians". This softness took hold, and somebody in the government decided that what we needed was a Department Of Mutual Benefitters. This department was established with the sole purpose of finding every piece of backbone in this country and converting them into something akin to jello.
A few backbones escaped and fled throughout the country. Most live in hiding, afraid to go out into the light for fear of being accosted by the DUMB people, and being ridiculed for having an opinion. I think it's only fair at this point to tell you that I am one. Not an agent of the DUMB, the other ones. See, even now, I'm afraid to say the words.
I'm a backbone. There. It's done. I feel such a relief! It's like the clouds just parted and sunlight is streaming in! I am a backbone! Wow! I'm getting teary-eyed every time I say it!
In light of this newfound personal freedom, I feel the sudden urge to speak my mind.(oh my goodness) So here goes...any of you people out there with a backbone, join me this season by saying things like "Merry Christmas" to anybody you see! Lets tell the DUMB fools that they can kiss our asses if they think we're gonna stand by and listen to all this political correct crappness like happy holidays! And if they don't like it, tell 'em to piss up a rope! There are other places that will take my money and say Merry Christmas right back to me.
If I go to any place this year and they say happy holidays instead of Merry Christmas, I'm turning my white butt around and walking out the door! If you have any kind of Christian tendencies whatsoever, you're not gonna stand for even one more minute of the happy holiday bs that has overtaken our society! I'll even take a Happy Chanukah!
Frickin commies!
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
How much is enough?
I know what's it's like to come from a big family. Where, if you're the youngest, you are more than likely just referred to as "hey you". This isn't a bad thing. I know a lot of people who come from even bigger families than I do. I don't, however know anybody that comes from a family of 20!!! What are they thinking?
If you've been living under a rock for the last couple of years, "they" are the Duggars from somewhere like Fertile, Arkansas. "They" are expecting their 20th kid. 20. 20, like in "holy crap how am I gonna pay for food? 20 like in, "holy crap, how am I gonna pay for diapers?" 20 like in "holy crap! What the hell were we thinking?" After 2 kids my wife would barely let me sleep in the same bed. After 10, she'd make me move to a different room. At 20, she wouldn't even let me drive down the same street!
How do they remember all the names? Is it a George Foreman kinda thing? You know, you just name 'em all the same, that way you don't have to remember a bunch of different names. In my family, there were 6 kids. All 6 of us started with a J. Mom just started at the top and stopped whenever she got to the right name. If there were 20 of us, it would take 10 minutes just to get to the right person to yell at! Do you really think they even know the middle one's names? (no offense middle siblings) (mom didn't know your middle names, but she was okay with your first ones)
Why would they do this? There's times where I think I'm gonna go to jail for killing a kid! (relax, I've never ACTUALLY killed a kid!) If there were 20 of them little boogers running around, I'd be popping back so much play nice medicine you'd have to wipe the drool from my chin. Of course, if I was taking that much play nice medicine, there probably wouldn't be 20 kids!
There are so many kids in their house they could have their own school. We barely had that many in our entire high school! They have more people in their family than a lot of orphanages in Tai Wan! (bet the Duggar kids don't have to pick rice, though) How do they cook for that many kids? How do they get them all around to their various functions? Do they really even know if there are extra kids sleeping over? It would be fun to replace one of their kids with a random stranger kid & see if they notice.
You could get the state to re-draw boundary lines and have your own voting district! I believe, (but I might be mistaken) that George Washington actually had less people than that vote for him! I don't know if I've ever even been in a room with that many people before! My bet is they keep going till they can have a full offense and a full defense. No substitutions!
If you've been living under a rock for the last couple of years, "they" are the Duggars from somewhere like Fertile, Arkansas. "They" are expecting their 20th kid. 20. 20, like in "holy crap how am I gonna pay for food? 20 like in, "holy crap, how am I gonna pay for diapers?" 20 like in "holy crap! What the hell were we thinking?" After 2 kids my wife would barely let me sleep in the same bed. After 10, she'd make me move to a different room. At 20, she wouldn't even let me drive down the same street!
How do they remember all the names? Is it a George Foreman kinda thing? You know, you just name 'em all the same, that way you don't have to remember a bunch of different names. In my family, there were 6 kids. All 6 of us started with a J. Mom just started at the top and stopped whenever she got to the right name. If there were 20 of us, it would take 10 minutes just to get to the right person to yell at! Do you really think they even know the middle one's names? (no offense middle siblings) (mom didn't know your middle names, but she was okay with your first ones)
Why would they do this? There's times where I think I'm gonna go to jail for killing a kid! (relax, I've never ACTUALLY killed a kid!) If there were 20 of them little boogers running around, I'd be popping back so much play nice medicine you'd have to wipe the drool from my chin. Of course, if I was taking that much play nice medicine, there probably wouldn't be 20 kids!
There are so many kids in their house they could have their own school. We barely had that many in our entire high school! They have more people in their family than a lot of orphanages in Tai Wan! (bet the Duggar kids don't have to pick rice, though) How do they cook for that many kids? How do they get them all around to their various functions? Do they really even know if there are extra kids sleeping over? It would be fun to replace one of their kids with a random stranger kid & see if they notice.
You could get the state to re-draw boundary lines and have your own voting district! I believe, (but I might be mistaken) that George Washington actually had less people than that vote for him! I don't know if I've ever even been in a room with that many people before! My bet is they keep going till they can have a full offense and a full defense. No substitutions!
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Let's do the right thing courts!!!
Seriously, what the hell is wrong with this Country? The same kids who got told to take off their American flag t-shirts on Cinco De-Mayo are now fighting in court for their rights, and the courts are saying the school was right! Huh? The school was right because it told a group of high school kids they couldn't wear shirts with the Americna flag on them, but it was okay for Hispanic students to wear shirts with the Mexican flag on them? How was this the right call? Were the hispanic students prohibited from wearing their Mexican flag t-shirts on the 4th of July?
I heard an interview this morning with one of the kids. He said there wasn't a problem at all that morning. He interacted with hispanic students and nobody said anything, or even acted like they noticed. It wasn't until the Vice-Principal brought it up that it became a big deal. (and, on a side note, shouldn't the "Vice" Principal be paying more attention to drugs & prostitution at the school than the shirts?) Why is the Vice-Principal, who, I'm assuming, is an American citizen, treating these kids like they are weak-bladdered, knobby kneed commies?
Will girls in high schools be told from this point on that they can't wear skirts to school because it might offend the muslim students? What if Jewish kids want to wear their yarmulkas? What if some really fat girls decide to wear spandex? That might be offensive to a whole bunch of high school boys. Will that be tolerated? What if the kickers can't wear cowboy hats because it offends the skaters? What if the skaters can't wear skinny jeans cuz it offends the jocks? See where I'm going? Everybody, and I mean everybody, at some point is going to offend somebody else! Get over it! Chances are, they weren't even trying to offend you! (unlike those like myself, who choose to try to offend people)
And for the appologists, who just can't help but appologize if they happen to offend somebody...Get over it! If somebody decides to be offended by some remark you made in passing, or what you wear, or what you drive, or what you had for lunch, or whatever, it's THEIR problem. Not yours! Grow a little thicker skin.
My hat's off (if I had one on) to the kids who are fighting the schools decision! Hopfully, somebody in this country will wake up one day and say, "why dad-gum. What we did to these kids is just plain stupid! This here is America. They should be allowed to honor the flag anytime they dang well please! And if the people flying the Mexican flag get offended, why, maybe we should just give them taxi fare back to the border!"
And if some part of this offends you, TOUGH CRAP!
I heard an interview this morning with one of the kids. He said there wasn't a problem at all that morning. He interacted with hispanic students and nobody said anything, or even acted like they noticed. It wasn't until the Vice-Principal brought it up that it became a big deal. (and, on a side note, shouldn't the "Vice" Principal be paying more attention to drugs & prostitution at the school than the shirts?) Why is the Vice-Principal, who, I'm assuming, is an American citizen, treating these kids like they are weak-bladdered, knobby kneed commies?
Will girls in high schools be told from this point on that they can't wear skirts to school because it might offend the muslim students? What if Jewish kids want to wear their yarmulkas? What if some really fat girls decide to wear spandex? That might be offensive to a whole bunch of high school boys. Will that be tolerated? What if the kickers can't wear cowboy hats because it offends the skaters? What if the skaters can't wear skinny jeans cuz it offends the jocks? See where I'm going? Everybody, and I mean everybody, at some point is going to offend somebody else! Get over it! Chances are, they weren't even trying to offend you! (unlike those like myself, who choose to try to offend people)
And for the appologists, who just can't help but appologize if they happen to offend somebody...Get over it! If somebody decides to be offended by some remark you made in passing, or what you wear, or what you drive, or what you had for lunch, or whatever, it's THEIR problem. Not yours! Grow a little thicker skin.
My hat's off (if I had one on) to the kids who are fighting the schools decision! Hopfully, somebody in this country will wake up one day and say, "why dad-gum. What we did to these kids is just plain stupid! This here is America. They should be allowed to honor the flag anytime they dang well please! And if the people flying the Mexican flag get offended, why, maybe we should just give them taxi fare back to the border!"
And if some part of this offends you, TOUGH CRAP!
Monday, November 14, 2011
This is what happens when you smoke crack as a youngster kids!
Is there anything that you can't buy online? I'm driving the other day and see a sign that says "Reefs2u.com". That was it. Thinking I was going to find a great deal on flip-flops, I whipped out the smarter than me phone and looked it up. Turns out they're selling reefs. Like growing in the ocean, coral kinda reefs. You can actually buy a living coral reef on-line! Seeing this, I decided to do a little research. You could buy an aquarium, all the little rocks & stuff, the scuba diver for the bottom, and all the fish for it online.
You can buy deer online. You can buy cows online. You can buy donkeys online. Horses, pigs, chickens, ducks, sheep, and goats of all kinds are all available on-line. I'm not real sure why you would want to stock your barnyard all on-line, but you can all rest comfortably now knowing that you can!
Those are just the farm animals. You can get alligators on-line! ALLIGATORS! Not sure who needs to order alligators on-line. Guess watching re-runs of Steve Irwin just ain't doin the trick! You can order snakes on-line! (Oh HELL no!) Lizards, scorpions, tarantulas, crickets, turtles AND tortoises (didn't know there was a difference) all kinds of frogs, toads, and every kind of newt imaginable.
You can order all kinds of sea-food on-line, and they'll ship it alive if possible! Steaks, ribs, bar-b-que, jelly, bread, pies, cakes, you name it. All on-line.
You can buy plants on-line. Trees! Real, live, growing trees! Bushes, shrubs, flowers, bulbs and whatever else your little mind can think of!
I've done the majority of my Christmas shopping on-line for several years, but recently I've kicked it up a notch. I'm building myself a nice little cabin for us to live in & I've decided that I can probably order the vast majority of the stuff for the cabin on-line. I bought sinks last week. This week, I'll probably buy a couple more sinks. Some light fixtures. Some wood floor. Some glass block. Seems like there's nothing that I can't buy online and save the taxes!
And it's convenient. I don't have to get all dressed up like I normally do to go to Home Depot. No khaki pants and denim shirts so I look like I know what I'm doing! (I'd hate to walk around Home Depot in, say, a ratty pair of cargo shorts with a t-shirt that has 23 different colors of paint stains on it, no socks and sneakers, and a cap that says, Texas...love it or kiss my ass.) I like to dress up a bit, just in case I'm seen by somebody I know! By doing all my shopping on-line, I can do it butt-assed naked if I want! Nobody cares! (except the housecleaner, who ran out of the house scratching at her eyes & shouting "I've burned my retinas"!) (Actually that part didn't happen) (Okay, maybe it did happen, but it was the spousal unit, not the housecleaner)
For all of these reasons, I want to offer up a special thank you to Al Gore for inventing the internet!
(and notice how I didn't make any smart comments connecting the housecleaner to the spousal unit, as in "they're one and the same"!)
Love you dear!!!!!
You can buy deer online. You can buy cows online. You can buy donkeys online. Horses, pigs, chickens, ducks, sheep, and goats of all kinds are all available on-line. I'm not real sure why you would want to stock your barnyard all on-line, but you can all rest comfortably now knowing that you can!
Those are just the farm animals. You can get alligators on-line! ALLIGATORS! Not sure who needs to order alligators on-line. Guess watching re-runs of Steve Irwin just ain't doin the trick! You can order snakes on-line! (Oh HELL no!) Lizards, scorpions, tarantulas, crickets, turtles AND tortoises (didn't know there was a difference) all kinds of frogs, toads, and every kind of newt imaginable.
You can order all kinds of sea-food on-line, and they'll ship it alive if possible! Steaks, ribs, bar-b-que, jelly, bread, pies, cakes, you name it. All on-line.
You can buy plants on-line. Trees! Real, live, growing trees! Bushes, shrubs, flowers, bulbs and whatever else your little mind can think of!
I've done the majority of my Christmas shopping on-line for several years, but recently I've kicked it up a notch. I'm building myself a nice little cabin for us to live in & I've decided that I can probably order the vast majority of the stuff for the cabin on-line. I bought sinks last week. This week, I'll probably buy a couple more sinks. Some light fixtures. Some wood floor. Some glass block. Seems like there's nothing that I can't buy online and save the taxes!
And it's convenient. I don't have to get all dressed up like I normally do to go to Home Depot. No khaki pants and denim shirts so I look like I know what I'm doing! (I'd hate to walk around Home Depot in, say, a ratty pair of cargo shorts with a t-shirt that has 23 different colors of paint stains on it, no socks and sneakers, and a cap that says, Texas...love it or kiss my ass.) I like to dress up a bit, just in case I'm seen by somebody I know! By doing all my shopping on-line, I can do it butt-assed naked if I want! Nobody cares! (except the housecleaner, who ran out of the house scratching at her eyes & shouting "I've burned my retinas"!) (Actually that part didn't happen) (Okay, maybe it did happen, but it was the spousal unit, not the housecleaner)
For all of these reasons, I want to offer up a special thank you to Al Gore for inventing the internet!
(and notice how I didn't make any smart comments connecting the housecleaner to the spousal unit, as in "they're one and the same"!)
Love you dear!!!!!
Friday, November 11, 2011
Happy Veterans Day!
Thank you to all the veterans in this country that have served! It's because of all of you that I have the opportunity to sit in my comfy warm office and write a blog entry that will be read by millions! (there are literally MILLIONS of cells in your eyeballs! Am I the only one who didn't know that?)
All of you, either active duty or retired, deserve much more than just a day of gratitude, but I'm afraid that's all that we're going to be able to muster up! What every one of you have done, just by signing up, is worthy of a huge THANK YOU! You have made a committment with your life to honor your Country and all of it's citizens.
THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart!!!
All of you, either active duty or retired, deserve much more than just a day of gratitude, but I'm afraid that's all that we're going to be able to muster up! What every one of you have done, just by signing up, is worthy of a huge THANK YOU! You have made a committment with your life to honor your Country and all of it's citizens.
THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart!!!
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