COOKIES!

So, as I walk into my favorite store that ends in "Mart", I'm accosted by this contingent of giggling little future mayhem causers trying to sell me cookies.  I don't want to print the name of the organization that they were affiliated with due to possible difficulties with copyright laws, but the name rhymes with Whirl Stouts.  So there I am, being drug over to a big ole table full of cookies.  I tell 'em I'll take 2 boxes (cuz I'm a sucker) and this little kid tells me it'll be 7 bucks!  SEVEN FRICKIN DOLLARS for 2 boxes of cookies!  I told her to keep her damn cookies!  Then she tried the whole crying routine.  Almost pissed me off!  I had to look that kid in the eye and tell her "Biotch, please!  Me buying your cookies ain't gonna make your momma and daddy get back together!  And besides, for seven bucks I could buy a whole case of Milwaukee's Best!" 

Okay, I'm lying about that whole incident. 

Truth is I really am a sucker for Girl Scout cookies!  When they see me coming, them little girls in the green dresses go nuts!  I do think they're pretty highly priced, but dadgum, take a bite out of a Thin Mint, or a Do Si Do and tell me that's not heaven!  My question is this; why are they only available once a year?  And why are the inside packages now this foily kind of stuff instead of clear celophane?  Is there a big "cookie fix"?  Is this some kind of a plot by the "family" to elbow out the Girl Scouts, and start selling "Guido Group" cookies?  My personal favorites would be the Frankie (basic chocolate chip cookie with white fudge topping), or the Vinnie (key lime cookie with Macadamia nuts).  Ummmmmmmmm.  I can almost taste them. 

Can't you imagine little Tommy comin by to sell you cookies.  He's the only 7 year old on the block with a black pinstripe suit and slicked back hair.  "Hey, you wanna buy some of these cookies?  Naw?  Naw?  I think you might want to reconsider that my friend.  These are really good cookies.  My own mother made these cookies, God rest her soul.  Now you tellin me that you're too good to eat these cookies?  Fuggidaboutit!  You're gonna take 5 boxes.  And you gotta throw in a dolla extra for the protection."  (this works better if you read it in an accent.  Think a younger Al Pacino from The Godfather.  Younger like in 8)

Truth is, I've only bought one box this year.  But the year's not over yet!