Research Studies

I heard an ad on my way to work this morning that gave me pause!  (that just sounds wierd.  "gave me pause"? Not really even sure what it means.)  What I heard was an ad asking for volunteers for a research study on birth control patches!  Now, as I think we have determined before this, I'm not a rocket scientist, but still...this has to be the WORST idea for a research study EVER!!!  What if it really doesn't work?  What if you happen to be part of the test group that gets fed the placebo?  Can't you just hear the conversation now:  "Mommy, how was I made?"  "Well Skippy, once upon a time, mommy had a really bad meth habit, and she needed some money for a fix.  I heard this commercial and it seemed like a REALLY easy way to make a quick buck..."

And while we're on the subject, (kinda) when your kid is playing youth sports, the coaches are, for the most part volunteers.  I always love it when on the first day of practice, the lady drops off little 4 year old Thomas (or Hector, or LaShawn, or Abdul, or Bai Ling) comes up to you, a total stranger and says "I need to go run an errand, I'll pick up Thomas (or Hector, or LaShawn, or Abdul, or Bai Ling) in an hour."  Then she proceeds to go get into the big Mercedes and drive off without even leaving the poor kid a drink.  Here's a newsflash.  I might be a raging pedophile posing as a coach.  I might be a mean s.o.b. that has absolutely no business being within 200 yards of a pit-bull, much less your kid.  I might just be a nice-normal guy who's trying to do something nice and doesn't really want the added responsibility of taking care of your kid. 

And it's always the kid who's dad has spent exactly 11 minutes of his life actually being a father.  You know the ones.  The kid doesn't know how to throw, or catch, or run.  And then it's always the dad who shows up game day and gets in your face because their kid didn't get as much playing time as the other kids, or didn't get to play infield, etc.  Stop spending all your time at the deer lease with your buddies.  Or the bar.  Or the office.  Get your ass up off the couch.  The Friends re-runs aren't really all that exciting.  Get your kid, go out into your yard, and throw the ball.  He might not be good at first.  I guarantee you he's not ever going to be good if you don't spend a little time hanging out with him.  Get your priorities straight.