I'm Fed UP with this crap!

Okay, I'm officially fed up! The crap happening in the streets is ridiculous. I understand being sad, upset, hurt, even angry because your candidate didn't win. Get over it. I wasn't real happy when President Obama won, but I didn't run out in the middle of the street and set stuff on fire and assault people!

I saw someone post the other day that this Country was founded on violent protest, and there is nothing more American than protests. Bullshit. Comparing what is happening today to the Revolutionary WAR is pure, un-adulterated horse crap. How about a cute little history lesson? The people that were fighting for our freedom from tyranny were fighting for a cause. For a purpose. They were fighting so that all the little Jack-asses in the streets today could live life on their terms, not someone elses. They weren't walking the street beating up random people who didn't agree with them. They weren't murdering people just because. How dare you compare the 2! 18 year olds were willing to sacrifice their life for a cause. Now 18 year olds are being coddled and told that it's just no fair. Life isn't fair. If it was, I'd look like Brad Pitt and have Warren Buffets bank account!

And what do they really expect is going to happen? I didn't vote for him, but Donald Trump won the election. It was a fair and legal election. Get over it. All you're doing for your entire generation is showing the rest of us what a bunch of ungrateful little bastards you are. Every one of you needs to go look into the eyes of someone who has really had their rights violated. Hop a plane on over to the Mid-east and talk to some of the Christians in that area that wish to Hell they could protest in the streets. Then tell me if what you're doing is the mature thing!

The one person who stands any kind of chance to get this situation calmed down is doing absolutely nothing as far as I can tell. President Obama, do something! Do anything! Go on TV and tell them all to go home and calm down. Send in the National Guard. DO SOMETHING FOR GODS SAKE! Don't sit on your ass and wring your hands and talk about how bad the situation is. You were elected as the leader of this Country. LEAD!

This whole situation has spun so far out of control it's ridiculous! And it all started with the Universities of this fine Country letting the dumb-ass kids have days off from classes, and "safe" spaces, and coloring books, and baby bottles, and whatever else the damn weak minded people running the places thought was for their "best interest".

We, as a Country have every right to be concerned about the future! There was a time when the youth of this Country went off to war, or got jobs, or went to college and then into the work force. They were all fighting for a better Country. All this group is fighting for is the right to be destructive little assholes! WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH. Bunch of damn whiny-ass cry-babies! Grow up! Grow a pair! Get the hell out of MY COUNTRY!!!

And a little hint for any of you that find yourselves stopped by an unruly mob in the streets...your car has a gas peddle. Use it! Make speed bumps out of them! Maybe next time they'll stay out of the damn streets!

Sorry about the language Mom, I was fired up!

Buh-bye Miley!

Well, I'm not sure where to begin. I fought hard all the way to try to get my name out there, so that we could make a difference. (not really) I need to start by thanking all my loyal supporters. Travis, you did a great job as my campaign manager. Too bad you aren't old enough to vote! At least that way I would have had at least one.

The unthinkable happened last night. One side won. One side lost. Truth be told, when I woke up this morning, I had no idea who our President elect was. I got ready for work, got the man-child out of bed and ready to tackle the world (at least the football world) before I bothered checking. It's not that I didn't care, it's just that I didn't really care.
Don't get me wrong, of the 2 real choices, I preferred the one we got over the other one, but still. What I'm really excited about is that we don't have to deal with all this crap any more!!! No more negative campaign ads. No more negative debates. No more of the political crap. (at least not for 2 more years)

It's time to put all of our (yes I said OUR) pettiness away, pull up our big people panties, and face life head on! All of you big strong people puffing your chests out right now, proud of yourself for voting for Trump, telling everybody that will listen that you just KNEW he was gonna win, how you KNOW he's just what this Country needs and how YOU got him there. All of you little strong people banging your head on the table right now, whining, because of course "how COULD he possibly win", whining about how Hillary didn't actually lose, how the electorate system is rigged, etc., etc., etc.

Notice how I used "strong" to describe both sides? It's true. We are a Nation of strong, smart people. We just haven't acted like it for a while. We as a populace have gotten so accustomed to playing the victim card every time someone opens their mouth, we have forgotten what it means to be strong. We whine about not getting our burgers in 45 seconds. We whine because it's just too cold. We whine because it's just too hot. We whine because there's no mustard on our sandwich. We have forgotten the lessons of our fathers and grandfathers. We've got to stop acting like a bunch of petulant children and throwing temper tantrums when things don't go our way. Your candidate didn't win last night? Who gives a crap. Figure out what you can do TODAY to help out the candidate who did get elected.

And you assholes whose candidate did get elected...stop acting like a bunch of prima donnas. You are just as guilty as the rest of humanity for the condition of this great Country. Pull your heads out of your asses and figure out what YOU can do to push things forward. Step across party lines. Step across your yard. Shake hands with somebody you've never met before. Have a conversation with someone of a different race. Get out of your comfort zone and make a difference in somebody's life. Make a difference in your own!

And for all you people that swore you were going to leave this place if Trump was elected...time to put your money where your mouth is. For far too long, you have expected the rest of us to look up to your high-school educated asses as if your were somehow smarter, more sophisticated, and better than the rest of us. Truth be known, your just as big of ass-clowns as I thought. Stop making glib comments and then not following through. Maybe your parents didn't teach you when you were young that you had to follow through on your actions, but the rest of us learned it. GET THE HELL OUT! You don't like this Country or the leadership, get out! You made a promise. You "guaranteed" that you'd leave. I can't speak for everyone, but for myself, I want you gone. Buh-bye.

One more thing, all of the protesters that are out on the streets right now stirring crap up, stop. The only change you're bringing about is a change in the way the world perceives you. Instead of viewing you as a bunch of misguided youths doing whatever they can to get their message out, we're now viewing you as a bunch of dumb-assed titty-babies who didn't get a cookie. Grow the hell up! Stop destroying everything around you. If you don't like what happened so much that you have to destroy private property and prove yourselves to be nothing but low-life thugs, you can jump on the same bus as the Hollywood set. Get the crap out of my Country.

If you aren't doing everything in your power to make America great, YOU are the problem!

Good night, and God Bless America!

The big ole Weiner is back!

Oh my goodness, it's happening again! I can't believe that we are all fortunate enough to have the Weiner back in the news! You know what I'm talking about...that long skinny fellow with a goofy looking head. You know, the Weiner that likes to take pictures of his weiner! With a wife named Huma Weiner! All I've been talking about lately is politics and other BS news. Been really down in the dumps about it too. But this! This is a fantastic opportunity for all of us to smile a little.

I try not to actually follow the news, but this one is too hard not to notice! I know that most people would be offended that he was texting some teenager, but I think it's just a small thing. I don't really think he could have kept it up for long. I firmly believe he has got a hand on the situation. (damn this is fun) I wonder if he texts with his left hand does it feels like somebody else is doing it? At any rate, I bet he needs a stiff drink right now. And a footlong. That'll make him feel better! Not as good as a Huma in his bed, but better just the same!

I'm just kidding of course! Anthony "Kiolbasa" Weiner is an absolute loser of a person who associates with absolute losers. I thought we were done with him and his weiner last time. I hope they find evidence of him being inappropriate with a teenage girl and send him away to do a little time. Maybe he'll have Hugo as his new wife. Maybe his new wife Hugo will say "get over here and give me a huma"!

Oh, if wishes and buts were candy and nuts what a happy boy I'd be!

Introducing...the next President of the United States of America!

Well Ladies and Gentlemen (I'm using that term loosely), it seems that the wait is finally over! It's time to cast our ballots. I'm sure this fact has each and every one of you on the edge of your seats. I know it has me on the edge of my (toilet) seat! I've been trying to make sense of this mess for months, and the only conclusion I can come to is ummmmmmmm. This choice is like poking yourself in the shin with an ice pick, or stabbing yourself in the hand with a fork. Steve Miller had it right...Clowns to left of me and Jokers to the right!

So what's a poor boy to do? If I vote for the old blonde lady, I'm pretty sure I get 4 more years of the same crap, with crap being the key word. I for one am pretty tired of the Clinton family in general. I think she's devious. I think she's mean. I think she thinks of what is best for her before she thinks of what's best for the Country. I think she doesn't have a clue about foreign policy or what it means to lay your life on the line for the Country you love. I think she doesn't have a clue about how the economy of this Country works. I don't think she has a clue how to stimulate the economy and help the masses. I don't think she cares about the masses!

If I vote for the old orange guy, I'm not sure what in the hell I'll get for the next 4 years. I'm not sure I can trust him with the nuclear codes. I think he's devious. I think he acts like a 5th grade bully who's a lot more sure of his abilities than he should be. I think he's mean. I think this entire presidential bid is for his own overblown ego. I don't think he has a clue of what it really takes to run the government. I don't think he has a clue about how to deal with the opposing party. I don't think he has a clue.

So what's a poor boy to do? I have decided, after much soul searching (that really didn't take that long), to declare myself as a candidate for President of the United States of America!

I know what you're thinking. What the crap does this numb-nut know about being president? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I know I have to be 35 years old. Check. (and then some) I know I have to be a natural born citizen. Check. (Dallas, TX) (But please don't call me a Dallas-ite. I don't have any friends named Buffy or Muffy, and I just barely knew a Chip once) Other than that, I'm good to go.

What, you may be asking, is my platform? Other than my shoes, let me lay out my ideas for you.

*We will definitely build a wall. We will build a wall around Washington DC. And we'll make them (politicians) pay for it. The idea of the wall is keep them all out where they can't do any (more) damage.

*Mandatory spaying and neutering of all politicians. Damn! Those things breed like rabbits!

*We're re-working the entire Welfare programs. If your happy ass doesn't have a job within 3 months, boom. Instant job. You will now be employed by the US Government pulling weeds in the median's of all the Interstate Highways across the Country. If you refuse, you will receive a one-way ticket to Iran, complete with all the proper paperwork to make you a citizen of that great (sandy) Country!

*Politicians aren't going to make the decisions for the military anymore. If the Generals feel like they need to bomb hell out of somewhere, bomb away! You're the guys we've put our trust in, why would I want to interfere?

*All of the crap about companies being "too big to fail" is going out the window. BS. If a company is being run by incompetent assholes, and they fail, they fail. What about all the jobs you ask? When a big corporation fails and goes away, it leaves a void that the smaller companies will rush in to fill, thereby needing to hire qualified people. Are you with me? See how it works?

*People aren't going to spend the rest of their lives on death row. After conviction, you get one year to appeal. If you lose your appeal at the one year mark, as you come out of the courthouse,
Vinny is going to step out from behind a column and put a bullet in your head. And if you're convicted of rape or child abuse, whatever inmate or group of inmates ends your nasty little life, will get an automatic pardon. I understand we might be putting not the best of people back on the street, but what the hell, they killed a pedophile, right?


Furthermore, I've been told on more that one occasion that I'm a sarcastic asshole. I think that pretty much is exactly what the Country needs right now.

So with your help, I can be the next Asshole of the United States of America!

Vote John and vote often!


(I'm John Brown, and I approve this message!)

Can you believe this crap?

Don't know if anybody realizes this, but the first presidential debate of the 2016 election cycle occurred last night. And while I don't know who won, I know who lost.

I thought the object of the debates was to flesh out the platforms of the candidates, and to fill in the gaps between soundbites. They all throw out great suggestions during the campaign, but I thought we would get details during the debates. All we got was vague talk, accusatory statements, eye rolling, fake smiling, and interrupting. Neither one of them could answer a question to save their lives. All they do is talk in hyperbole and sarcasm. (ha, I fit hyperbole into casual conversation!)

Both candidates seem to me to be about as useful

Based on just the facts that have been presented during the campaign, including the debate last night, I would find it amazing that any person in this country could come up with a good enough reason to vote for either one of these ass-clowns. Both have plenty enough baggage to convince anyone NOT to vote for them. I understand the whole party loyalty thing, I really do. But I also find it hard to believe that out of a country with a population of 319 million people, these are the 2 most qualified!

What really perplexes me are the supporters of these people. You can't even have a casual conversation with either side because they all act like rabid dogs. You can't honestly tell me that you really believe that if either one of them gets elected, the country is going to implode. Can you? That the end of times will occur? The dogs will start living with cats? The cows will eat humans instead of vice versa? I'll grow hair? Face the facts. None of these things are going to occur. (which is a damn shame about the hair thing) I have honestly tried to ask people why they are so strongly supportive of 1 candidate, or so vehemently opposed to 1 candidate. It's impossible. As soon as you ask the question, the blood pressure goes up, the face turns red, spit starts flying as they speak, and all they can do is give reasons why they hate the opposing candidate. And hate is not too harsh of a word.

It would seem to me that what should be happening is people having open, honest dialogue with one another. Let's talk about the issues that need to be addressed. How about ISIS? How about the economy? How about National defense? How about health care?

And as a side note, let's talk about health care. I'm not sure why, if this affordable care act is supposed to be such a great deal for every American, my health insurance rates have MORE THAN DOUBLED in the last 3 years. Yes, you read that right. MORE THAN DOUBLED! And we are facing another 27% increase this December! Apparently it's supposed to be good for every American except 'ol Johnny Boy!

I want to see the candidates tell me exactly why I should vote for them. I don't want to hear the bullshit sound bites. I want to know the details of exactly how they are planning on pulling off the things they are promising me. I don't want to hear "believe me". I don't want to hear about how great the last "x" years have been with you involved with the current administration.

And for God's sake, please start acting like grown-ups. Both of them are acting like petulant children.(hyperbole and petulant in the same blog! WOW!) You both talk about how better prepared you are than the other. How much better your temperament is for the job. How much more experience you have. It's time for the rubber to meet the road. Stop the crap. Act Presidential.

So, no, I don't know who won the debate last night. But I know who lost. America!

Well, here I go again!

I just watched a video that disgusted me. I mean, actually I watched 2 videos that disgusted me, but this one isn't about the giant zit popping. It's about all the political proponents of one side of our 2-sided political system getting the crap beat out of them when they attend a rally in favor of their candidate. Okay, I'll stop with the political correctness, that was about all I had in me anyway.

The video I watched was about Donald Trump supporters getting hit, spit on, sprayed with pepper spray, and their cars getting destroyed. Seriously. Just for putting their confidence and faith in somebody that probably doesn't deserve it anyway. Whatever happened to peaceful protests? Meaningful discourse? Respectful debate? Somebodys opinion is different than your own, so instead of listening to what they have to say, or just walking away and ignoring them, you throw things at them? Blind-side punch them? Ridiculous.

I also like how in almost every instance on this clip, the people doing the attacking had their faces covered. So, not only are they bullies and whiney asses, they're cowards! And it's never in a one-on-one setting. It's always with a mob of people behind them. Just a wild-assed guess here, but I bet they have to have the mob with them because they get winded when they have to pick up their cell phone. They always look like a bunch of panty-waste little dorks anyway.

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think EITHER candidate deserves your vote this election. In my lifetime, I have never witnessed the level of depravity that has been reached during this election cycle. The entire Country has gone to hell, and nobody seems to want to do a damn thing about it. If I was a candidate, and I heard reports about supporters of mine doing cowardly acts such as this, I would make some kind of announcement asking my supporters to act like human beings, not a pack of coyotes. Doesn't mean it's going to stop it, but by not speaking out, you're condoning it.

For that matter, where is our President? Shouldn't he be on the airwaves every night telling the American populace that they are a bunch of entitled little dirt bags for acting in such a manner? Where has he been on the violence against police officers? The violence BY police officers? Just my opinion here, but I believe the current administration has set race relations back 40 years or more in this Country. He has done nothing to calm the huddled masses. Instead, by doing nothing, he has invoked fear. Fear of terrorism random acts of violence. Fear of Police. Fear of our neighbors. Fear of ourselves.

And whatever happened to running for president based on your merits and platform? Apparently all you have to have are insults and put-downs to run now. (maybe I should run, I've got that part down) These are the 2 most un-qualified, immoral, despicable people as candidates I think this Country has ever witnessed, and fortunately for us, they're both running at the same time! How lucky we are! Don't get me wrong, you still need to go vote, but vote for my dog Chico instead of one of these Bozos'. He could be the first Mexican American President! He has impeccable qualifications. He's fat. He's lazy. The only thing he'll chase is a bag of dog-food. He's friendly. Plus, he's smarter than either of the 2 running! (and he's possibly the dumbest dog I've ever seen!)