While I was sitting on the overstuffed leather sofa last night watching a group of guys trying to trackdown Bigfoot (yes, as in, "she's a Bigfoot Gus") when a commercial came on. Now, I know that they run commercials fairly regularly, and I can't even remember what it was for, but I do know that whatever it is, I don't want any.
"Possible side effects may include: loss of appetite (maybe I do want some), shortness of breath, inflamed nostrils, splotchy skin, nausea, diarrhea, itching skin, hives, loss of hair (maybe i've already taken it), blurred vision, memory loss, slurred speech, cramps, hacking cough, blood in urine, tender nipples, loose stools, belly button lint, ear hair, tongue hair, toe fungus, anal irritability, migraines, night sweats, bed-wetting,a constant tik that makes you snap your fingers every 4.3 seconds, lip-licking, and finger-biting. People that have taken this medicine have reported violent mood swings, and the uncontrollable urge to beat the crap out of someone.
Talk to your doctor before taking this medicine if you are on heart medication, or if you have high blood sugar. Ask your doctor if you are healthy enough for sex (I like my doctor and everything, but he's really not my type). If you experience any of these conditions, please stop taking this medicine and contact your doctor (before or after the sex?)."
So, why would I take any of this medicine? Invariably, it's always for some anti-depresant. Hmmmmmm. Would I rather be depressed or have tender nipples? I have uncontrollable urges to beat the crap out of some people already, not sure I want to add to the homicidal tendencies. If a drug needs a full 60 second commercial to explain all the possible side effects, why would you want to take it? Can the symptoms possibly be any worse than anal irritability? I'm not even sure what that means. If I was an anal, I'd damn sure be irritated!(explains a few things about my personality)
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