Okay, I'm disturbed. No, I don't mean mentally (although that's arguable), I mean I'm really disturbed by something I saw on TV. If you know me more than on a casual basis, you probably know that I don't really watch a lot of TV. Very little really. I believe tonight I finally figured out why. It's something called "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo"! In case you don't know, this is a "reality" show about a family of about 30 fat girls and one hillbilly dude. And when I say hillbilly dude, I'm doing a disservice to hillbillies everywhere.
I know there are a lot of people out there who just absolutely love this show, and I'm pretty sure it's just because it makes them feel better about their own pathetic existence. I know that when I happened to be sitting in the living room cleaning the lint out of my belly button (innie, not an outie)(could you really clean lint out of an outie?) when this show came on, I found myself staring at the 42" flat screen in awe. It's like a train wreck, or a really nice fitting pair of yoga pants. You just can't take your eyes off of it.
I've heard about the show in the past, and probably even seen a couple clips. But never, ever, never would I have even begun to imagine just how depraved and deprived this country has become. When I asked the spousal unit where these things live, and she said she wasn't sure, but thought it was Georgia somewhere, all I could think was "thank God it's not Texas"!
To the best of my knowledge, there are 4 or 5 girls of the female variety living in this house with their Mom (June) and at least one of them's dad (Sugar Bear). I'm not sure if Sugar Bear is his real name, but that's what everybody calls him, so I'll go with it. I've heard that june recently lost about a hundred pounds, so I was assuming that this particular episode was filmed before the massive slim-down. When I inquired as to the reality of this, I was informed that "yes indeedy, this show is after she lost the weight". Holy crap! You can't tell where this woman's head stops and her cankles begin. She's the same size from just under her nose to the tops of her combat boots!
And this leads me to an observation...a guy has to have something going for him to get lucky. Play an instrument. Be funny. Be able to quote Shakespeare. Look like Brad Pitt. Know how to fix a car. SOMETHING! All a woman has to be is willing. Mama June here is living proof of that. I think there are about 4 different dads represented in the girls in this family. Must be a lot of desperate guys in Georgia! (Of course I did have a friend who you could always count on to have your back, because he was particularly fond of of "healthy" girls. Good wingman he was!)
I digress. This woman, and all the offspring involved are what I like to refer to as "Fat". Not healthy. Not big-boned. Not plump. The word here is fat. And ignorant. And red-neckish. And Mama June is the queen bee of them all. This is one fat, ugly woman! But Sugar Bear sure loves her. Just tonight he brought her flowers and made a comment about how he had a "chubby for his chubby". ( I just threw up in my mouth) (a lot)
I'm not sure where this goes, or what this means. What I do know is that apparently, I've made the right decision to not watch a lot of TV. But next time I do, you can bet your ass I'll have control of the remote!
