I just listened to a recording of a lady on the radio calling in to complain about the location of "deer crossing" signs. This is something that has always perplexed me as well. Why put the deer in such danger? Why would you ask them to cross IH-10 where the speed limit is 70? Just doesn't seem like a smart move to me. Put the signs on side roads somewhere where the speed limit is 35. If I was a deer I'd tell you to kiss my butt. I'm not gonna cross IH-10. What happens if they don't do it? Do they go to deer jail?

And another one that bugs me is every time I pull into my neighborhood, there is a sign that says "slow gate". Put a faster damn motor on it. I think I'm smart enough to hit the breaks and wait for the gate to open without being told that it's slow. How stupid do they think we are?

And how damn hungry were the original settlers in this Country? How come they had to name all the hilly passes the same name? I can't tell you how many "do-nut pass" signs I've seen on the road! And they don't even spell it right!

Another one that gets my goat is when you go into the restroom at Lowe's, there is a big sign that says "employees must wash hands". That's it. Doesn't say after you pee. Doesn't say before returning to work. Just wash your hands people. (when you're working in a big warehouse store, is that such a big deal anyway?)(I can see it when you're making me my steak burrito or something, but loading sheetrock?)

I saw one the other day while driving past a car wash. It said "free senior citizen wash today only". Seems like there are other ways to get Granny to wash her pits. I think this would be a little humiliating also. "All you old folks strip down and stand over there while Buford pulls out the firehose".

But out of all of the signs that I've seen, the one that I think is the cruelest, most inhumane out there is the one that says "slow children crossing". Don't we live in a society that shouldn't be putting people down? Especially childrens? These poor kids who have to cross there are just trying to fit in. They don't need it announced to the world that they're "slow"!

What we need

Well, here is sit the night after "the most important election in since the last most important election in our Countries history". Things didn't exactly go as I had hoped. Didn't go exactly as about 50 million other people had hoped either. I don't understand. I mean I REALLY don't understand.

How can a guy get re-elected when, according to polls, 60% of the people in this country didn't approve of the way he was handling the economy? How can a guy get re-elected when the average family is making approximately $5,000 less per year than they were 4 years ago? How can a guy get re-elected when the nations unemployment rate has remained higher for longer than at any time in American history?

I think I have a pretty good idea. (admit it, you knew it was coming) The problem with the Republican party is that the vast majority of voters in this Country can't identify with the folks that they keep putitng out there as their candidate. How many of us can truly identify with a guy that's worth somewhere around eleventy billion dollars, who came from a family that was worth around eleventy billion dollars? I'm pretty sure he never had to dig through the ashtray in his car for gas mone!

And it wasn't just the current candidate. The previous candidate, although a war hero with an impeccable record, wasn't easily identifiable with either.

There needs to be a litmus test of sorts when it comes to candidates. How about a simple "would I have a beer with this guy"?

What the republican party needs to do is find their own rock-star. Find a young guy with enough balls to say what's on his mind. Who isn't afraid to ruffle feathers. Who looks out for the best interests of the Country, even though they might not be the best interests of himself, or his party. Find somebody that everybody can look at & say, wow, I believe in him. Somebody who doesn't back down from his convictions just because his "handlers" are afraid he'll actually speak his mind and piss people off.

Somebody who has a clear picture of where he stands on the issues. Who has a plan for the Country. People want to see and hear about an iron-clad plan for the economy, and for foreign affairs. And they want them explained to them in a way they can understand. Don't come up with some bs line about "we have a plan, a very detailed plan that I can't explain at this moment"! Beyond that, don't get bogged down. There are always going to be issues that pop up that somebody wants your position on. I think it's ok to say "I don't know, but I'll go back and talk to the brightest minds in that field and get back to you".

Oh, who'm I kidding? People want somebody who looks good, smells good and lies to them out of both sides of their mouth. Have I mentioned before that people are stupid?

Aother reason to hate unions!

For all of you readers out there that happen to belong to a union, you might want to tune out for a while. I heard a couple of days ago about a group of electrical workers fom the wonderful state of Alabama who went north to the not-so-wonderful state of New Joisey. Seems said group went north to help a bunch of people try to get some power back on in their casa's after what we like to refer to around here as "a nice little fall shower". Apparantly it's cold as Hell (why do people say cold as Hell? Isn't Hell supposed to be really fiery and hot?) up there and getting colder by the minute. The good old boys from Alabamy thought, shoot, we can go up there and be right neighborly and help these poor folks out!

Just when they thought they were in a spot to do a bit of good in the world, they were turned away at the New Jersey border because THEY WEREN'T UNION WORKERS!!! Everybody catch that? The help they were bringing wasn't nearly as important to the imbeciles in New Jersey as was the fact that they werent card-carrying members of the electical workers union!

There is something seriously wrong in this Country when you put the best-interests of a few above the best-interests of millions! How pathetic is it that people are freezing, have no food, have no running water, yet when help is on the way, some jerk-wad turns it away. See, if it was me, I wouldn't care if they were mass murderers. If they were there, willing and able to help, I would have put their happy little butts to scampering up poles!

I hope whoever made this truly idiotic decision gets the living crap beat out of him(or her) by some little old woman who wants nothing more than to warm up a can of tomato soup. Then, when he gets to his feet, I hope there's some little boy with frostbitten toes that comes by and pees on the guys shoes! What a nimrod!

On a lighter note, I wonder if there's a chance that I can catch an election ad on TV tonight? I will be so damn glad when this whole election crap is over! I have a pretty strong feeling that no matter who wins, there is gonna be bitterness and partisanship in this Country, and specifically in the goverment, the likes of which we've never seen. My prediction, and I hope that I'm wrong, is that it's going to be incredibly hard for whoever is elected to really make a difference in the next four years.

There will be so much hatred and bias throughout every level of government, and so little cooperaton between parties that the country will come to an even greater standstill. I hope, for all of our sakes that I'm wrong about this. Whoever wins will be the President of the United States, and will need the cooperation of every one of us. It's time for all of us to come together and put aside whatever differences we may have. Put aside the anger. Put aside the hurt feelings. Put aside the color. Put aside whatever it is within each of us that makes us work against each other instead of with each other. It's time to put this Country back on top.

God Bless the United States of America.

And if you don't agree, kiss my ass. And leave.

How black is enough?

Heard today that the ACLU, or LULAC, or NAACP or some other such group was filing suit against the Minnesota frickin Timberwolves because their roster was too white. Yes, you read that right. Somebody is suing the NBA because there are too many white guys on a team. Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit!

What in the Hell is wrong with this World? NEWSFLASH!!! About 85% of the players in the NBA are black. So, don't you think that the racial thing has pretty much run it's course in the NBA? I mean, can I sue if there are 5 black players on 1 team on the court at the same time?

Pretty sure that this is the way the NBA works:(I may be wrong, but I doubt it) You put the best team you possibly can on the court. You win the most games you can. You go to the playoffs. You win the title. Everybody gets big, fat, stinkin bonus checks. Everybody smiles!

Doesn't matter if the team is white, black, green, yellow, red, or something in between. If you've got the best team, you win.

So why would the Timberwolves purposely put an all-white team on the floor? My guess is that they just don't think the "colored's" deserve a shot! Or that they think the black folk will get out of hand with the power!

Give me a damn break! There isn't an owner in the NBA who doesn't want to win a title. And win it now. It's probably worth somewhere north of eleventy bajillion dollars in marketing and jersey and cap sales. But no. Let's put all the white guys on the floor at once so we got no shot! After all, White Men Can't Jump!(I used to be able to jump, just not very high)(Now I've got no cartilage in my knees and it hurts when i jump)

It's time we get over the racial thing America. I know that black people had it bad! Truth is that a lot of white people had it just as bad. Maybe not in America(although there are a lot that did), but throughout history. What's that guys name in the Bible? Oh Yeah. Moses. Apparently he was a slave. Apparently he had it bad. Apparently, he went on to lead a whole bunch of people out of slavery and into a better life.

Truth is, by pulling this crap with the whole racial thing, the only thing you're doing is creating greater racial divides in the country. It's okay if you're black, red, yellow, white or neon. In the words of Rodney King, "Why can't we all just get along!!! I know a couple of Hispanics. I know one black guy. Believe it or not, I even know a couple of asians. We all get along. Weird huh!?!

Wake up people. The folks in these damn racist groups like LULAC and NAACP earn a living by creating hatred. Period. If one group doesn't hate some other group, then the powers that be in these groups got no big paycheck.(and they all want that big paycheck) So to make sure the paychecks keep coming, they create hate. They create panic. They create devisive feelings in this country. If we are still feeling the pain of the past century, and trying to get over said feelings, doesn't creating hate and ill-will go directly against any recovery we could possibly have?

So here's what I'm gonna do...I'm gonna buy me an NBA team, and I'm gonna field nothing but Hispanic Koreans who are all under 5'-4" tall. And we're gonna suck, but at least I'll have my quota!