I spent the past weekend in the company of a whole bunch of 9 and 10 year old boys. They stink. I mean, they really stink. They are disgusting little creatures that shouldn't be let out of their houses. It didn't help that it rained and there was mud everywhere, but no excuse. They stink!
Exactly how many pairs of socks do you think I found on the floor or the front porch of the cabin when we were cleaning up to leave? It was somewhere north of 10 pairs. I didn't really bother counting, I just scooped 'em all up with the dustpan and threw them in the trashcan.
When you move your bunk as far away from the one next to you as possible, just so you can't smell the funk, you know it's bad! When other 9 year olds are telling kids that they stink, you know it's bad! When it's 38 degrees and raining outside and I make them leave the doors open just so I don't vomit, it's bad!
There was so much stinky feet crud in that cabin, even the teenagers moved out!(I thought about it, but quickly realized it might be grounds for imprisonement if I left them) They can't raise a toilet seat if their lives depended on it. They can't hit the toilet if their lives depended on it! I had to beg, bargain, threaten and insult just to get them to brush their teeth! (amazing how many parents tell their kids they don't have to brush their teeth!(at least according to this group!))
But by FAR, the most interesting thought all weekend was posed to my by a loving 9 year old, runny nosed, sweaty, smelly little kid. He asked, in an oh-so-innocent voice, "you know how people sometimes pee in their sleep? How come nobody ever poops in their sleep?" It's hard to know the right answer all the time, but somewhere, deep down inside of all of us, is this little dictionary that suddenly pops open at just the right time to reveal to us the answers! ("hey look, it's time for rec.")
And a personal thank you goes out to my friend who brought the gorilla suit. (not a guerilla suit, which might have proven more useful) Just about the time you finally get all the little boogers settled down & (almost) quiet, some wacko in a gorilla suit comes running & grunting through the cabin. In the ensuing chaos, I found out that 9 and 10 year old boys know a LOT more bad words than I previously imagined. I also learned that, even though they can't let their bravado down for even a second, 9 and 10 year old boys are extremely frightened by a teenager in a gorilla suit. I also learned it takes about an hour and a 1/2 for 9 and 10 year old boys to calm down after a "skunk monkey" sighting! (I also learned that old guys in above mentioned cabins lose their sense of humor rather quickly when it comes to midnight, screaming kids and skunk monkeys)
I also learned that the funniest thing anybody can ever say is "your mom". How can 14 little boys find those 2 words that funny? They use them after everything! (me: go brush your teeth. them: your mom said to brush my teeth. them: giggle, giggle, snort, giggle, fart, massive giggles) And do you know how many fart jokes their are? Me neither, but it's a bunch! And they're all disgusting. And they all make little boys laugh.
But the most important thing I learned was how much I like being a part of these little heathens lives! Now excuse me while I go take a nap!
